Members' News

Resigned from my job... going back to school full time to pursue a degree in "Emergency and Disaster Management"... getting married in less than two weeks... completed confined space entry/heavy collapse extraction training.

And for your next trick...?

If your uncle's computer has to go through a proxy for internet access, check if the secure/ssl proxy is set. I had that problem once.

Spiky, you married yet? Or still sweating/swearing it out in the days just before the event?

Sampanna, I have no idea how to do what you propose without making the computer implode.

Brad, my dad has worked with rescue teams, even wrote a textbook for them and is always talking with admiration. I am sure you will ace the school. And don't you dare not post pictures from the wedding.

Spiky, my uncle and aunt were remembering their own wedding, in the winter, with half the guests unable to come because of the blizzard, the hotel hadn't booked them the honeymoon suite and they had ended up going out for a pizza. They are very happy and in love 14 years and three kids later. Ignore the weather. Focus on the man you love.

Pulling a rabbit out of my... hat

Put. Me. Down.


Now.

LOL...

Kat how did you get in to brad's hat to begin with?

Not married yet. Everything is organised pretty much. Not too fashed about the weather, I can't do anything about it but it will make for a nicer BBQ if it can actually be held outside that's all. I consider the wedding to be something to overcome on the way to being married. If I can make it one hell of a party then that'll be good enough.

At this stage it looks like being a weekend festival with nearly everyone coming to dinner on Friday night, the wedding Saturday and then everyone for breakfast on Sunday. All I need is a jumping castle and it could be an annual event

Edit: cause jomping doesn't exist

Hang on spiky, you don't mean...

Surely not...

I mean, I know you ozzies are weird and all that but...

A wedding without a bouncy castle ?????? :neutral:

Such things just should not exist.

(And he was picking me up to stuff me in his hat to prepare for the trick, duuuh...)

::joins Spiky in singing "We shall overcooooooooooome!"

unrelatedly, "I now pronounce you man and... sir, why is your hat wiggling?" :tongue:

Good Luck Brad!
Good Luck Spiky!

Last week I learned never to purchase Advent Laptops again as they are cr*p. Mine died without so much as a whimper last Tuesday. And I have to admit, I threw a small tantrum and learned just how much I use the damned thing. I also cried...how sad is that. Stupid heap of junk.

Yesterday, I got my new laptop. A little present to myself along with a longer warranty. Today I learned that I hate Windows Vista. It. Sucks. Big. Time. I hate the look of it, I hate how it operates, I hate how it uses so much goddamned memory...it's a stupid stupid operating system and should be relegated back to the deepest darkest depths of hell. Die Vista Die! Long Live XP!

Well, I'm a bit disappointed, I thought at least one person would talk about the rugby worldcup starting tonight (since England, Scotland, Wales, Australia and USA participate). I think New Zealand will win. What about you?

Tomorrow my uncle an I will drive back to Athens. And the weather has typically taken a turn for the shittier.

Meh, first of all, I'm not that keen on rugby, and secondly, I've had it up to here with it already, everyone at work is going on and on about it, all my friends are going on and on, and I have to put up with a few matches even taking place down the road from my flat, so don't count on me for input about that :biggrin:

Ok, aside the fact that the All Blacks are coming to Toulouse for a match, and that all interest in rugby set aside, it would be kinda cool to bump into them in the local H&M or whatever, yeah.

Edit : Actually, I must say that I haven't heard much about it on British Radio, they're making more of a fuss about the football season than the rugby world cup...

Bah, Gaelic football is where it's at, not rugby.

Good man! That's what I like to hear...see...whatever...

I’m back from my holiday. It was great very relaxing. I saw the big ship my sister was on over the summer. Since she’s back at UNI she wasn’t on it. She’s hoping to be part of the permanent crew once she graduates at the end of this year.

Well my week is already sorted Monday to Thursday it's work in the office then go up to the main campus for my induction. It’s been 3 months since I started and I get my induction now. Well at least I my be able to get a lift and not really on my mum to take me. I still get mileage.

Well peaceful day on Tuesday and Wednesday as my other half is away for his training.

Well Wales is doing well in the rugby as well as Scotland. I don’t care about football.

Well I've completed my first week of classes. It's not so bad. None of my professors seem to be boring and the work hasn't been too hard. My calc prof is Italian but I can still understand him. We had to take a basic skills test in math just to see what we know and I completely do not remember anything. I have to take it again tomorrow and hopefully I will pass this time. I have a geology orientation class that is only 1 credit but we get to have guest speakers every week and field trips on most Saturdays. We already took our first trip to Hungarian Falls and to a natural rock wall that is part of the Keweenaw Fault. I decided to join the pep band and they have a reputation for being obnoxious and unorganized. We get to wear yellow and black striped overalls for a uniform and the craziest hats we can find.

I'm married now.

Strangely enough this does not seem to have changed my identity to drastically. Although, someone did call me Mrs Hughes this morning which was incredibly weird when I realised I was supposed to respond.

The weather was perfect and everything went off without a hitch, except we forgot to put out the non-alcoholic alternative but no one seemed to notice... I'll put up photos and what not when they become available. Right now I'm completely swamped in work thats built up in the two days I wasn't here.

Congratulations, Spiky!

Yay for Spiky!

*throws rose petals around*

Mal, don't start talking about Neighbours weddings, if I have to think of Kylie Marrying Jason, I'll just well up and blub like last time I saw it... (ok, I was 12, but yeah...)*

Spiky, congrats to both of you, and glad it went so well !

*Edit : actually, by some totally fluke timehole, I heard the music they played during that scene the other day, and it did actually trigger a blub. Damn you Neighbours !

::a wedding present for Spiky::

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"

::beams::

Mazel tov, Spiky! :smile:

(edited for coherency because the coffee hasn't kicked in yet)

Heh, awesome mowgli ! :biggrin:

Congrats Spiky!

Yes, congratulations from me too, Spiky

Congratulations Spiky!!

So I just found out that my University does a summer Study Abroad program in Oxford every year. I am hoping to join the group and go to the UK next summer for a month or two to study and visit old friends and family.
I don't have the important detail yet (e.g. when it is and how much it will cost) but rest assured, if I come to the UK, I'm calling a Hexcon. *Plots*

In other news, I'm exhausted and need sleep. I'm off to nap for two hours before I go to work. Goodnight everyone!

Funny, I just noticed that about mine... :shock:

Congratulations, Spiky.

Hex, I tried studying a broad once. It ended badly though. It involved a restraining order.

Kat, a customer of ours is named Combee. She said it's of French origin. Do you or anyone else have any idea what it means?

Against you? Or against someone else?

Besides, since England is my home, it's less like studying abroad and more like paying a visit to old friends.

While getting a couple credit hours out of the way.

I know Oxford almost as well as I know London, therefore I found myself excited to return to Britland. I miss it

In other news, studying American History sucks like a thousand angry vacuum creatures. I hate my professor SO MUCH. Evil, evil quiz... *mutters*

Thanks everyone

And mowgli that piece of literary genius is going in my sig.

Here is the nicest photo that I have so far. the official ones (i.e. the ones my step-dad the avid photographer took) aren't ready yet...

Spiky, that photo is as gorgeous as you two, congrats :wink:

Edit: Redneck, it doesn't mean anything much now, but I'll look it up in my book of name origins as soon as I can get my hands on it.

Spiky, you looked amazing. You have made me all broody. I never had a nice wedding and i certainly didn't look as happy or in love as you do. I really hope it all works out and you live happily ever after.

Hsing, you go girl. Get them to think they wern't surviving without you. These companies need you. Bummer on the child care closure, is there no where else you could use? If its anything like over here, the day care is 10 a penny but there is only 5% that is even worth considering.

As for me, Ive been off work again, this time signed off with depression. just under a month. Someone i work with has taken a dislike to me and has been emailing collegues all over the country, telling them how fat and disgusting i am. It really has got me down. I showed my boss and she was hauled into the office. Not disciplined just a slap on the wrist. She is still doing it too. Not emailing, she isn't that stupid. She is doing it over the phone in full ear shot of me and thinks i'm deaf. I can't eat in front of people anymore in case of what they are thinking of me, ive spent hundreds on clothes to try and smarten myself up but it doesn't seem to help. The only thing i can do is find another job i spose. I love my job. I do it well. I love most of the people and don't want to leave but i don't see what else i can do.
I have also been given anti depressants. I don't know what to do about this. I could do with some advice. I have been told they are addictive. I don't know if i should take them. I think i might be better just trying to work through it.

What do think?

Honey, that's harassment, she's in the wrong and should be made to stop, she's not just damaging your work atmosphere she's damaging your health, so go back and complain, if you can, find at least one person to support you, a witness of what she's been doing. IF you like your job and do it well, there is no reason that you should have to leave because of one sour cow.

As for the meds, as Hsing said, if its for a short while and you're being looked after by a doctor, then take them, they can help just pull you up the little you need to cope and get you up and running again.
You know this already, Hun, deep down, don't let other stupid people ruin your life, they are the awful, lame, pitiful people, not you.

Thanks both.

The doctor said he wants me on them for 12 months and then would get me off them slowly. He is a good doc and has helped me a great deal since i came here. Even to the point of coming out to see me. But i don't trust that i wont become addicted. One more tablet wont be any harm, i take that many to help my injections that i wouldn't notice anyway. I just want to be me again. I was such a happy, if sarcastic, person when i moved here. My life was getting on track. I have noticed i cry alot more, i'm so snappy and it can't be making Dave happy. But will tablets make me me again? i don't know.

I have escalated the fact i'm not happy with the out come of her wrist slap. They already have all the proof they need cos i handed them one of the emails she sent. I've even had a formal apology from the director i escalated it to but because there is only me and her in the team, he wants us to find a way to work together and i just don't think i can. I am getting so much support from the rest of the girls in the office, to the point where they don't speak to her any more. Its the people in the branches up and down the country that i am worried about though. These people have never met me and they now have an opinion of me built on what she has told them. One branch will only email me now as they don't want to speak to me over the phone. I can't keep working like this.

It strikes me that anyone who feels the need to bring someone down like that has serious issues of her own. I realise knowing this doesn't make what she's saying any easier to deal with, and in the end, if she's making you really unhappy and ruining the job for you, looking elsewhere might be the better option.

But then, if you're good at your job and you get on with most people when she just spends her time spewing crap, it really doesn't seem right that you're the one feeling forced out of it. I agree with Hsing that it'd do no harm to keep complaining until the management really does something about it. Ultimately, like Katcal says, she's not worth it, and if she continues to find ways to get you down and the management don't do anything about it, it's not worth your health and another job might be the best thing. But, for all this is easier said than done, let her swim in her own vitriol, remember that you're a better person than her and hang in there until you get the kind of treatment you deserve. There's only so much you can worry about the opinions of people who don't even know you.

Missy, that woman is the one who should be seeking mental help, not you. She sounds totally messed-up and too bitter for anyone's good.

You can't go on like this though, that much is certain. You may or may not be right about the impression people working in the branches have of you, but what matters is that this possibility of a false impression is wearing you out.

Try to raise the matter again, say that you can't keep working like this anymore, and look for a possible new job. The way it's going now, your current one is doing you far more harm than good.

Hun, the pills alone won't make you yourself again, don't expect them to work miracles, but they should help. You have been through a lot lately, and all of that lumped together and bashed over the head by that stupid c.o.w. would be enough to drive anyone to tears and mental/moral fatigue, seriously. Having a good doctor you can trust is already a good thing, having Dave is too, and of course, you have a whole board of absolutely amazingly wonderful people you can depend on to talk a load of crap and take your mind off it with brainless topics, so don't let just one person hurt you, ok ?

As Kat says the pill's wont make you better but they will help. My Dad has had a couple of bouts of depression so I know what its like when some one around you is depressed. The best way to deal with it is to try to be yourself I know that sounds hard but it helps. Take each day as it comes. Don’t let one stuck up c.o.w get you down she’s just unhappy with herself that’s all. As long as you’re happy the way you are that all that matters. We all love you the way you are.

Missy, that's insane. I hope things turn up for you and that you have the time and opportunity to just think about yourself and what you want to do for a while.

Definitely.

Spiky, that's a beautiful photo. Congrats!

Spiky, congratulations! You two look very happy.

It chocks me to hear about your colleague, Missy. I didn't know adults could behave in such a way. I hope you manage to convince your superior of how serious the situation is, such behaviour is illegal. Don't let her words or actions change you.

Spiky, congratulations! I really like your dress, and you two look happy.

Missy, the coworker sounds like a frustrated, friendless hag with a sense of self-loathing, and she needs to put others down in order to make herself feel better. Pathetic, really. I bet she has a huge problem with her self-image, and all the things she says about you, she's afraid people will notice on her, unless she distracts them with pointing it pot on you.. or anyone else she thinks is to weak to stand up to her, or ignore her without giving her another thought.
Sadly, I've met my share of people like her.

I've been on the antidepressants, though mild ones, as my depression wasn't that bad. They did help, and I didn't get addicted. Actually, when I felt strong enough, I told my psyciatrist I wanted to stop taking them, and he agreed.
When he prescribed them, I was a bit wary, and he said something I agree with now: They are like a bycicle.. you'd get there without them too, only it's faster and less painful with them.
The thing is, they only help you cope as in lessening the physical effects of the depression, so you have more energy to cope with the issues. To get through it, you'll need to work hard. You'll need to find a therapy that works for you, and keep with it. It takes a very long time to get through it all, and you still end up much more sensitive. But, you'll also end up a stronger person inside, you'll realize you have much more support from peole than you expected, and in understanding the dynamics of your psyche it'll be easier to recognize things that trigger your depression in the beginning.
I know I'm a much better berson for going through it. And joining this community helped me a lot. That was still in the times of the old boards, but the people are here now, and so am I, even if I'm more of a lurker

If you want to talk about it, contact me on MSN. I know I'm not really active on the board, and I'm probably a stranger to you, but I'd like to help with my own experience, if you want.


Me, I'm swamped with work, and spend most of my free time (the little of it that i have) talking to Jonas. He makes me very happy, even if we're 2000+ km away most of the time. So basically, nothing new.

Wendy, the way your workplace is dealing with your situation is outrageous. A letter from the director saying "play nice"? it's an absolute joke. That disgusting woman is bullying you, and your company should take action.

At the very least you should not have to work with her. If she's spreading malicious bitching throughout the entire company, I would have thought it would be in the company's interest to throw her as far as they can. Maybe you should go to citizens advice? they'll be able to give you an idea of your position, what you can do and who you can appeal to. This is a very serious matter, and they'll gladly help you.

Nobody should be forced out of a job they love because of bullying. You don't have to stand for it! Give your manager a kick up the arse about it, make sure they know you're not going to be fobbed off with a patronising letter from the director, and show the bitch you're not going to sit back and take her shit anymore.

As for antidepressants, millons of people in Britain are on them. You don't have to take them if you'd rather see it out without medication, which is natural, but you don't have to be scared about them, or think it's a weakness to take them. You have been through a hell of a lot. Your doctor sounds great, I'm sure you have talked about it a lot. Inaction wont help, so just have a think about what you really want to do. But don't stand for it. I hope you feel better soon.

I think Ella put it very well. I agree with every word of that.

Missy, I'm certainly not a mental health professional, so I'd go with trust the doctor. Have you brought your concerns of addiction up with him?

This is all just too much now.

I have had a letter from my solicitor today to say they have recalculated my situation and unfortunatly i am not entitled to legal aid.
I am so unhappy. I thought at least i could get my life back on track with Dave. I can't afford a thousand pounds. Which now means i can't get rid of my ex. It seems i will never be free and will never be able to lead a normal life. I can't get a house cos he will be entitled to half of it, i can't save any money cos i would have to declare it and he would be entitled to half of it. But above all that i can't marry my beloved Dave, and thats what i want most in the world. He is my life.

Every part of my life is in tatters and i don't know what to do or how to handle it. I am 30 this year and am still in someone elses control. I feel like a teenager being told how to live and what i can and can't do. Yes he's not beating me anymore but in some ways this is worse. Bruises fade, but this is torture.

I sometimes think it would be best all round if i wans't here. If i wasn't around Dave and my Mom wouldn't have to go through this day after day, seeing me cry uncontrolably, inconsolable sometimes. I just don't know anymore. Things have been bad, even the miscarriages didn't make me feel like this. I just feel so lost.

I'm really sorry but don't think you should'nt be there. I'm sure Dave and your mother are both very happy that you're there and because they love you, are supporting you each day in these hard times.

I know it seems that there's no end to what you're living, but keep faith in your future, Dave is with you, loving you, and that's something nobody can take away from you.

I hope things will go better.

Honey don't say things like that, I'm convinced this will end one day. There must be some way to get this guy out of your life (legally, guys, legally) have you spoken to a social worker or someone like that ? I don't know much about British law or welfare, I'm afraid, but there must be some way to get a divorce, especially since he was such an abusive a-hole, it shouldn't be the victim's job to pay for this, surely.
In the mean time, please give yourself a big slap on the left buttock from me if you start thinking things like "it would be better if I wasn't here" again, that's the depression talking, babe, and we don't listen to depression, do we now ? May I just remind you that Dave, your Mum, Charlie and everyone here would be so much sadder if you weren't around, ok ? And I mean that, don't make me come and spank you myself, I'd have an 800 mile run-up. It would huirt.

Missy, check and see if your company has a 'three strikes you're out' policy. If they do, ask to see your HR rep and formally complain her. Demand that she gets given a written warning. You are perfectly within your rights to do this and the HR rep should act on it, even if the Director doesn't. If she keeps doing it, keep reporting her until the company are so sick of her that letting her go would be easier than keeping her on. You shouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing in this day and age. If needs be, my sister is a HR Manager and she can give me some advise to give you if you need it, even if I have to hold her head in a bucket of water until she agrees.

Don't let the Bitch get you down!

Spikey, your dress is FAB! Congrats!

Other ideas:

What is the company policy on personal emails/phone calls? Even if the insults are tacked onto a business call, then once they start they are surely no longer business, and therefore must be personal.

It could be worth pointing out to your management that someone this deranged is likely to get worse - she may get tired of slagging you off to colleagues and start on the clients - wouldn't they want to get rid of her before she started that?

Retaliate - bad idea - you just get into a slanging match

Ignore her - just get on with your work

And the most important thing is to remember:

"This is a demented bitch who has no personal/social skills and the only way she can interact with other people is by trying to reduce them to below her level (difficult, as there is little space below her level)"

Don't be bullied by this woman - feel sorry for her with her problems, if you are feeling generous - then you can get on with your life - but still keep pushing management to sort out the problem - given current employment laws, you might be able to pick up a bit of monry in damages - always look on the bright side!

The company has policies on bullying and harrassment. I have had a meeting with the director mentioned. I had a collegue with me and he had our HR manager. They both agreed that it wasn't bullying or harrassment.
I wont let it drop. I went in two weeks ago, to hand in my 2nd sick note and to try and complete my month end billing (i got in trouble for that as i wasn't insured) If i hadn't gone in the bills wouldn't have gone out. The bitch decided she was going home sick. That is because she is scared to do month end cos she over charged by three quarters of a million last month and got in trouble for it. I ended up having to do mine AND hers because she faked it. I couldn't let my boss down. He is the nicest person. He has emailed me to see how i am a few times this week. None of my other bosses have ever done this. He has got a temp in to help me out when i go back too.
I took all the paperwork for the policies in the meeting with me. He wouldn't even consider it. He said one email doesn't constitute bullying. I gave him the legislation that gives the company the right to check her emails as i know there is alot more on her system as she is so stupid she kept them all. He said he was not allowed to do that as he has no right to look through the emails. I showed Dave the minutes from the meeting. He thought that was wrong. Last week i got a call from the dir's PA. She asked my permission to check MY emails! i feel victimised. Why the hell should they check mine for gods sake? I gave them permission as i have nothing to hide. They have a policy that says the emails can be used for reasonable personal use so i know i'm not in trouble. I only email Dave once a day and they all get deleted immediatly.

I don't really know where to go from here. I gave him an ultimatum. Told him to either sack her or move one of us. He is not prepared to do either as he doesn't believe i'm being bullied.

What more can i do.

Missy that sounds a lot like what happened to my Mum when she worked for the local council. She’s a fully qualified accountant and she needed a new job as her contract was coming to an end. She got this job working in the accounts department under a much younger boss and to top things off her boss was fresh out of uni. In every thing my Mum did the boss found problems with it even though my mum knew she was right as she had over 20 years of experience under her belt. In the end after countless meeting and such with a union rep she got a new job and a lot more job satisfaction.

If it gets really bad think of a new job. But that a last minute resort.

My induction was ok thought I wouldn’t make it back across the forth road bridge we did I’m now home but I have to do some work over the weekend there goes my plans for a quiet weekend.

Missy - that sounds like a horrendous time! As Mal says talk to the citizens advice, they are the best source of free advice around. You may need to keep a record/diary of all events particularly those which affect how you work and how others work with you. If you hit them with enough facts they will need to do something about it.

Spiky - congratulations! Love the dress.

I'm just back from a weeks holiday in Dorset which actually coincided with a week of good weather. Ate too much and generally had a good time. Marred slightly by a call from my brother to say that the local news said that where I work was closing the manufacturing side with the loss of 500 or so jobs. This being the section where I work. Not quite as bad as it sounds as it won't happen for about 18-24 months and I should hopefully be able to transfer to the research side which is unaffected. But this will mean interviews and I hate job interviews, particularly the technical ones as it's a long time since I actually studied any chemistry and I'm very rusty.

Missy good luck sorting that mess out... Sometimes I think bosses think its easier to discourage people from complaining than it is to actually deal with the problem. Sounds like whats going on with you. No easy solutions except maybe find another job? Probably easier said than done though.

Jac sounds like the perfect weekend. Dave's away for work at the moment so I found the new season of Stargate veg'd on the couch and got some PhD work done. Oh the excitement of it all. ALthough I am enjoying my Stargates.