Almost cut my hair...

So, today I handed in my notice at work. It was rash, but pre-meditated rashness.

I have two principle reasons for doing this:

1) I deserve better.
2) I don't appear to be able to do the job to their satisfaction.


I've had to put up with a lot at this job. The supervisor is a neurotic wreck who can't make decisions, but has been entrusted with the authority to judge all the rest of our work. One of the most competent people on the team has some interpersonal issues that have alienated most of the team at one point or another - though relocating my desk back upstairs seems to have enabled him to get along with the others again. I've been labeled 'defensive' and 'unapproachable' because of my reaction to being told my work needs correcting.

Now, when we first started this gig, we weren't given much supervision. There were four people on the team who each had, in some cases, different ideas of how to do the job. When my way yielded answers that our nominal supervisor didn't agree with, I would offer my explanation for why I'd done the work the way I did. In fact, the first time she approached me with corrections, she said she "wanted my opinion on" the files in question. I justified my decisions where they were justifiable, and said 'right, I'll fix that mistake' where they weren't. (As it transpired, the neurotic supervisor had already gone to our manager to get her opinion on those files without telling me, and when she finally did say so, she ran off almost in tears when I said 'then why ask for my opinion in the first place?')

So, I've been trying to work to her standard ever since, and have often gone to her for a ruling (which she's often unable to give, see above) on anything that isn't cut and dry to my mind. Sometimes she says one thing, and then when going over the files for error checking later, she comes to a different conclusion (and rightly so in some cases, as the situation looks different in a broader context). But, I get annoyed at being patronized or chided for sloppy work when I'd bloody well been doing what I was told. Getting annoyed at patronization from managers is 'defensive', pointing out that I was told it was okay to do it my way is 'unapproachable.'

I deserve better, and they deserve someone who can do the work to their standard. What really got to me today was the fact that I've been going up and down to the team's room since I was relocated, constantly asking questions and getting confirmation on my work, and never once did they say 'oh, can you take this stack back up with you? these need to be looked over again.' Today our manager disappeared for a while, having been summoned by a clandestine wave of the arm from someone partially out of view of my desk. She came back up with a massive stack of files that needed correction, and was shortly followed by one of my teammates with an even larger pile.

The whole cycle started over again, 'Why did you do it this way? This doesn't look like that does.' to which I'd offer my explanations and justifications. 'There you go getting defensive again. You know, your coworkers feel they can't come to you with these corrections because you're unapproachable. I think that's pretty sad, don't you?'

I said yes, though I'm sure we weren't in agreement as to what was sad about it.

I said 'Sarah, maybe I should just resign. I don't appear to be able to do the work to your satisfaction.' At first she started to say something like 'If this continues, maybe...' She soon replaced that with 'I wouldn't want to see anyone walk away from this because of needing to make corrections.'

I said 'That's not why I'm resigning.' Eventually she returned to her desk, having said things like 'let's not do anything rash' and 'just see what you can do with those.' Earlier, she'd said 'maybe I need to work through them with you,' which would have been bloody helpful four months ago - assuming she was any good at training or explaining, which she's not really. This was at 3:50, and core hours end at 4pm.

So I wrote out my letter.

"Dear Miss [name removed]:

Based on our earlier conversations regarding interpersonal dynamics within the Data Capture Team and my own concerns with my abilities to meet the requirements of the Planning Application Data Capture Project, I regret that I am unable to continue in my present capacity for the remaining duration of my contract.

I give you my sincere apologies for this disruption to the project, but I have not come to this decision lightly. On the whole I have enjoyed working for the Council and believe I have benefited from the experience. I hope that, on the whole, you and the Council would feel that my time here has been of value.

Please accept my four weeks notification of resignation to be effective as of Monday, 30th April 2007. This would see my final day fall on the Bank Holiday of 28th May, and I am prepared to report for work on Tuesday the 29th to compensate. I await your confirmation if this is acceptable.

Sincerely,

(signed)James Clayton Garner

Cc Personnel and Organizational Development"

Placed a copy in the internal post to go down to the town hall.

Placed a copy in my manager's in tray.

Said 'See you guys on Monday,' and walked out.

Halfway out the building, I remembered I left my bus pass on my desk. So I walked home.

Talked to Grace about it until she had to go teach a music lesson.

Then I went and shaved my beard off.

I wonder if anything will change, if they'll try and get you to stay?

Her manager's not going to do a thing, he's rather cowardly himself, and not about to make waves for anyone without orders from higher up. And the next highest person, the Director for regen and planning, has a good relationship with my manager. So no help there.

Now, there's an interesting point to raise here. "a job I was doing well"...

I wasn't. Not to the standard they wanted/needed. During the period where Matt had alienated the rest of the team and was leaving the room if I came in, I found the office environment so bloody toxic that I know the quality of my work suffered. But appearantly it was never up to snuff to start with. Some, if not a lot, of that has to be because of the person who decided if it was satisfactory.

Our neurotic supervisor doesn't try to match up a planning application site with the actual property. She tries to match up the site to the colored bit on a plan. If the plans were drawn up by a lazy architect or a work-experience kid, then the site plan will often be simplified. I've usually tried to interpret the plans in light of both the works applied for and the property history. I have to say, I think I've gotten things right more often than wrong by doing that. But sometimes my interpretations don't mesh with the rest of the team's. And other times, I just made mistakes.

So they decided that *all* my files need to be checked. Every one of em. I'm already processing more files than anyone else (so they think i'm rushing through them sloppily... which must be true in the cases where i simply cocked it up), and it's clear that I don't interpret the plans in the same way as the rest of the team. It doesn't take a genius to see that there's going to be a pretty large pile of errors needing correction returned to me.

I dunno. I could go on at greater length about the times when those corrections have consisted of nothing more than changing "11-13" to "11/13" in an address description (for the record, at least one department used to have a specific way of indicating if a property range was inclusive or exclusive, though no one's told me what that actually was, or if it's still in use.) or including a half meter dip in a property line caused by a vehicular crossing because one plan out of a set of three showed it (the other two had been drawn in a straight line, keeping the property boundary level with the rest of the curtilage). There've been a great deal of situations where we were told 'You could do it either way, neither answer is wrong and neither answer is more correct,' yet I'm expected to change my way of doing it to match the supervisor's.

It's a hiddeously disgusting rule of nature that the most fucked up and neurotic people are the ones who get appeased. You guys know what I'm like... now imagine how messed up my team mates have to be if the courts consistently rule in THEIR favor instead of mine .

so... I had a different understanding about a lot of things to do with this project than the people who now run it. I definately don't intend to suggest that my way was better. In some cases, theirs clearly is! But, I don't seem to be able to do the work to their satisfaction. I've tried my best, and it's not been good enough.

a good reason to resign if ever there was one, but i wouldn't have handed in my notice on friday just for that. I'd have tried to find something else first and THEN hand in my notice.

but then there's the attitude and interpersonal crap that's gone on at this job from pretty much day one. I won't whinge about that any further. suffice it to say that i'm quite sure Sarah and my team mates are going to believe I've left because I was upset over being told to make corrections.

they will never even consider the possibility that it was *how* i was told to make corrections.

but, at the end of the day, it wasn't even that really. I deserve better, and I can't do the job to their satisfaction. Both damn good reasons.

Well if you really hate the job there's no point in carrying on, wont do either side any good and it's a waste of your own life.

Not being able to tell people how they should work, or even telling them contradictory (sp?) things, has to result in errors. These errors are not, or only partly to be blamed on the worker. Judging from even the smaller anecdotes, here is a small group of people that tuned in on another one's neuroses, issues, and incompetence in the end, and matched each other well. Having been singled out of that mesh really is no shame.

Hope you find something better really soon...

Hell no. Not till I lose some weight.

Specifically, I hope he finds something within a month, or we're really in the shit.

two hundred thousand pounds, in unmarked notes.

Well spotted. I actually had to go and lie down for a little while after he phoned me.

my resignation's been accepted, and i'll be paid through to the end of the 31st, though my final day in the office will be this friday.

Wow, they got me a thirty quid gift card for Game... i'm not so much surprised at the actual appropriateness (i'm EXTREMELY easy to shop for so long as you stick to music or video game gift certificates), but the actual value of it.

anyway, as of 45 minutes ago, i'm free!