Captain Adams Strikes Again!

So, just to sort of carry on with the whole 'paranoia' thing, I think we might as well draw a few connections.

As a preface, I believe if someone's going to dedicate themselves to lurking (possibly posting!) here in disguise, we might as well give them something to read.

Now, one or two of our paranoids were making bets on who Juggicide might be on the stamps forum. Captain Adams came to be the popular favorite, as he seems to have at least one or two points of similarity to Gooner (however vauge). So, without any tip of the hat towards fairness or actually backing up our claims, let's just go ahead and ASSUME that just because he's about the right age, from the right county, and has the right hobbies, Adams may be our boy Gooner. If by any chance he's ever posted to say he hates football, all the better.

The point is, he made a thread about the Ashes with an empire strikes back joke, which Juggicide has dutifully repeated on the old site. Now, after the confusion over where Juggicide's old avatar was hosted, I think it's important that we stay as paranoid as possible and assume the absolute worst of everyone involved. Therefore, Captain Adams IS Juggicide AND Gooner.

And now all that's left is to determine the identity of Stroopwaffle, who claims to have listed ten separate identities who were "trolled" by Garner and Doors on the old site. There's only one poster who we KNOW to have used at least ten identities that trolled us, and that's Danskin. But, Stroopwaffle claims that he's most upset with his name being dragged through the mud. Since we've never said anything about stroopwaffle as he registered there after we left, I can only assume that he must have been around in the old days and was a person who wound up losing a fight or twenty. That would suggest either Gooner or Danskin, but I think the truth of the matter is clear...

Stroopwaffle is BOTH!!!

Now, before you laugh at my stylish tin foil hat (It keeps the syrup aliens from dripping down on me), I think it's important that we remember they would have gotten away with it all if not for those pesky Flinstones Kids. They're ten million strong, and growing, you know! Just like the number of people who crawl out of the wood work to say 'me too!'

So, while Juggicide is keeping his tackle out in hopes that some underage piece of Stroopwaffle's alter ego might come by and play games with it, I think we need to consider the autoeroticism implications if they're BOTH Gooner and only ONE of them is Danskin...

But that's not important.

The real mystery here is who took my trousers and why won't they give them back.

The punchline, for those who are hard of thinking (myself included):

We've moved. Now we should move on.

Some people can't move on, or change the subject, and those people are obsessive fanatics. Let us not be obsessive, but have a quick short laugh at their expense and then have fun at no one's expense.

Because treating people as things is wrong.

Let them lurk here, let them say what they want there. We are above reproach, and they are just reprobates.

Well you know I've always thought they were all Gooner anyway, not that I really care; the Empire Strikes Back thing is typical of his sense of humour, not that there's anything wrong with the joke in itself, just that it's exactly the sort of joke he would use.

it doesn't matter. at least one (assuming there's more than one) of these guys has been out to get us for THREE YEARS...

I mean, I think the only thing consistent in my life for that long has been my hair style, and even that changes once every couple of years now!

So, the important thing is that we not mock my hair in my class photos and we ignore the obsessive nutters.