The Oracle Buzzfloyd speaks on behalf of the Great God Garner: Thus saith the Great God. Edited by Garner to include the poll on the thread. Edited again by garner because ella DID post as om at least once. whoopsie.
Rinso is pleased with his new role. Rinso demands along with the customary pies ( filled with spoons) and his people build him a wall made of Ham. Bigger than the great wall of china... And a Hat.
Walls! I'll tell you about walls! They really are something I hate. They just show up! In the middle of the road! THE FUCKING ROAD. So, I take another route. There has to be a way around them after all. But, no. There's another one. Made of pie of all things. Pie. PIE! PIE!! I mean, fuck's sake. It sickens me.
Hear ye, hear ye. An Official Church of Orrdos Announcement. Ella is fired. Avgi is now High Priestess of this church also.
That saves me the bother of resigning! Untill Doors gets back and gives you all a glasgow kiss. Nooo, you wont like that.
*Sets Rinso on fire* *Pours acid on Chris* *Fills Garner's underwear drawer with pure, uncut capsaicin powder* *Hurls down thundersporks at everyone else for good measure*
I laugh at your fortifications. They are made of monkey poo, which is all that remains of the monkeyfund! It was spent on bananas. At least the fortifications, while not being overly strong, are the product of a healthy monkeybowel.
<goes through holes in fortifications and releases new breed of monkey> We weren't going to unveil them yet, they're not quite ready. A mix of Rinso and Kenny DNA reacted in a bad way to each other inside the monkey, resulting in a rabid scouse-hating cannibal monkey we like to call Ben. Go Ben Go!
I am shocked. Also: apalled! I can't believe that CJ can do such a good impression of me! Perhaps I should make him my apprentice
Here I thought being acting Doors meant not logging in and not updating the Tripod comics... Let's temporarily blame CJ for that then...
**stabs Garner** Meh, didn't read that thing all the way through. **scratches beard** Damn thing grew over night and it itches like hell, damn all of you ! **stabs Doors, pours acid on CJ and flames Tephlon** Ha !! The power !!
Until further notice: Om is the new Plaid. Ella is the new Om. Plaid is the new Ella (except for when she's the new Doors, when CJ is the new Ella).
Oh! It's a Garner beard on ze bunny! I thought it was one of those prevent-Hannibal-Lecter-from-biting muzzles. Edit: Apparantely, it's spelt lectEr.
Meh, Hubby thought that too... but yeah, it's a Garner Beard™ available at all good psycopath supplies stores and DIY shops for only £1 000 000... **raises little finger in a DrEvil fashion** Muahahahahahah !
I just had a look through Ben's album from the Dutchcon, and to the trained eye, this teological change was foretold as early as December! By close examination of the iris, the central incisors and the lack of canines of this specimen, one can observe the gradual shift towards a more leporid diety. Note how the outer ears are seemingly unaffected by the change, an effect known to science as DPD, or Delayed Pinna Development.
right. let me think about this. *sends fred to elephant obedience school* *bans all alcoholic beverages* *paints the whole church bright blue * *turns the doormen into librarians * how long do i have to keep this job?
Take that, Ella! I bet you wish I was still Doors now! >gasp< But wait! I am Ella! Oh my GOD! >chokes<
Well thats me out of a job then... If theres no alcohol what's a bar wench to serve, eh? *Sets plaid on fire using alcohol as an accelerant*
*appoints ella as chief stencil artist* now go stencil shakespearean sonnets all along the hallways, okay? and don't drip paint on the new molding either.
All is quiet in the pie factory, while the acting Ba sleeps off a drugged stupor brought on by too many wild flings with the spoon mafia. Suddenly, in the dark corners, a figure moves. Soon, there is activity. The ovens are lit, the instruments clang together, ingredients are mixed. In the morning, there is no sign of this phantom, save for the lingering aroma of baking, the warmth of the ovens, and a message, tattooed on the acting Ba's head: "The Pie is Watching."
Ah, new management. Excellent. I shall of course support the new Ba in all of his endeavors. *scatters some spoons around to amuse the new Ba, then starts selling off the Church of Ba's assents* Life is good.
**Stabs Roman, stuffs a sardine in both of his nostrils and pours acid on him** Yes, this is a good thing isn't it...
I like to rock and roll at niiiiiiight, and I should also say that I'll set Nashringadave on any dude that tries to stop me. And wow, Ben looks way scary in that photo, man.
Rinso feels that the role of Acting Ba is not providing enough emusment for His, simple yet constant needs. Therefore he suggest we go and get some midgets drunk and make them fight to the death, for a bucket of ham. The winner will be hailed as the Dwarf King and baked in a celebraitory Pie. Rinso will follow his by killing the first born of every board member and/or removing a testicle/overy of every unmarried board member. He will later fashion these in an attractive and potent set of marbles. Huzzah!
While attempting to sell off the assets of the church, Roman finds that they are already suspiciously absent. He is suddenly alerted to the smell of baked apples. When he turns, there is a golden-crusted pie sitting on a small stand, though he can remember neither being there a moment ago. Rinso is confronted by a pie tin filled with broken spoons.
As Roman touches the pie, he is stricken with an irresistable urge to eat the pie. Once the pie is eaten, he feels strange. Human life becomes immeasurably less valuable, baked foodstuffs are more important, and fire is oddly fascinating. Red and yellow highlights appear in his hair...
Okay, as this thread seems to have sizzled out entirely, it's time for the voting. (what, you didn't know there was going to be voting?)
