First of all - BIG thanks to the Jackal . If it wasn't for your thread, I would have never found out about the Marthter's US tour. Either they didnt' advertise it on purpose, or I live on the periphery of Cool Things Happening Nearby. I've never been to a book signing before - Terry's or anyone else's. But from what I gathered by reading the Q/As duringthe Terry Pratchett week - as well as from looking at the touring schedule and putting myself in the shoes of a man who has to be in a different city every day for 3 weeks - I imagine it to be a fairly impersonal affair, with a queue of book-clutching pilgrims stretching out several blocks, while Terry himself sits at a table, flanked by a pair of trolls, smiling forcedly and gritting his teeth every time his writing hand starts hurting... No chitchat, no "I love your books!", nothing - just get the signature and move along, don't hold up the line! Surprise #1: there were relatively few people, maybe 30, maybe 50. I guessed that the advertising was minimal - i.e. "the real fans will find out by themselves!" (again, thank you Jackal!) Surprise #2: PTerry was actually...well, jovial. He started off with signing a few books forthe early arrivers, then - once everyone more or less gathered round him, - told a couple of side-splitters about his recent surgery experiences (I never thought I'd use "side-splitters" and "surgery" in the same sentence, but trust me, you'll understand when you hear it. And just for the record, Pterry recently had angioplasty, and is still taking post-op medications. And it was the funniest recap of an angioplasty I've ever heard, granted there wasn't much competition to begin with.) I'm guessing he'll use the same story during all his signings, so I won't include it here. Surprise #3: He is very goofy. I mean, funny-faces-funny-voices goofy. Surprise# 4: He took questions after his spiel. Since those should be unique (or at least, the answers should be) to this particular signing, I'll try to quote them more or less verbatium: GIRL: "I was just wandering why you decided not to include Death in Thud" PTERRY: "WHAT? I did! Death definitely shows up in there!" GIRL: "Oh... just kidding!" PTERRY: "Good - very good recovery!" GUY: "About that sandwich-selling guy you saw at the hospital (*from PTerry's angioplasty story)? Could that have been C.M.O.T. Dibbler?" PTERRY: (amidst general laughter) "I thought about that ... Although I really can't see Dibbler having much luck selling his wares in a surgery room... - now I could see him BUYING things in a surgery room (more laughter, "eew"s). Seriously, if any DW character was appropriate at a hospital - any hospital, not just that particular one, - it would have been Death. But not everyone will appreciate seeing him there" GUY: "Excuse me... I mean.. Um... I know you must get this question from everyone.. but in the most basic terms.. I mean" PTERRY: "Just ask the quesion!!!!" GUY: "Um... what advice would you give to young aspiring writers?" PTERRY: "I actually have several answers for that. First of all, allow spelling, syntax and grammar into your life. I've actually seen manuscripts that have made their way to publishers' that look like one long text message. Now, if you've submitted this back in 1964, it would have been new and cool. Today, however, it just means you're a moron. Do not fraternize with other young aspiring writers. Do not let them read your work. They will tell you it's nice, only because they want you to tell them that THEIR work is nice. They are your adversaries. Only one of you will come out on top. ... And do not listen to what old writers tell you to do" Surprise #5: He didn't like the Hitchhiker's movie . And it apparently further shakened his belief in an eventual creation of a DW movie. (Surprise # 5.5: His next tour will include Russia. Ivanushka, did you hear?) Surprise #6: There were no trolls at his desk. There WERE, however, a couple of young people - Borders' employees? - whose job it seemed to guide the process along, especially since it apparently wasnt uncommon for people to fall into a complete stupor, and just stand there with a book in hand. They grab the book from you, turn it to the title page, and ask for your name. Then they pass both the book and the info down to Terry. A bit conveyor-belt-like... Still, Terry tried to be personable about it - asking people about where they're from, drawing little pictures next to his signatures, etc. Also, we were warned ahead of time that only newly-bought, newly-released books will get dedications - everything else will just receive an autograph ("for expediency's sake", plus I suspect - to encourage people to buy books, although I'm willing to give Pterry the benefit of the doubt here, and say that it was probably the publishers'/Borders' people's idea, not his) ... But, but, but... I had an old copy of "Jingo" with me, since I promised Brad I'll get him an autograph, and he thought "Jingo" was more appropriate overall... But I still wanted a copy of "Thud", so I took it off the shelf for later purchasing, when the wrangler-girl grabbed it out of my hands and handed it to Terry. "Name?" - "Erm, Inna!" - "Here you go, Inna" ... "WAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!" - "Whah?" - "Could you please, please, please dedicated this copy of Jingo? It's for a guy, who's currently in Iraq, who really really wanted to be here, and would have, if it was up to him"... ...startled silence... blink blink.. "Ooookay, sure!" - "GOD BLESS YOU!" - "What's his name?" - "Brad the Wonder Llama" - "So this is for a Llama... in Iraq?" - "Yes, sir! "- "Ooookay, how many Ls?" - "Two! Like, a real llama. Only Wonder. And Brad" - "Here you go!" - "Weeeee, thank you thank you thank you! By the way, would you like to learn any Russian words before you?" - "How do you say, thank you?" - "Spasibo! It means God bless you" - "I wonder how the Communists let people get away with it" - "They had other things to do" - "Ahh, gotcha" Or something like that, my brain was in a scrambled, drooling, babble-inducing haze at the time! (For some reason, my dedication has a little book drawn next to it with "boo!" on the cover. ) Okay, I'm done ranting now, but I really wanted to hear what other people's impressions/stories/memories are. Who saw Pterry where, what did he say, what was the most memorable part of the whole thing, etc. Did anyone else get a little book with "boo" on the cover drawn next to the autograph? How weird was the angyoplasty story? What stupid/interesting/particularly brave questions people asked? And so on... edited to add: - my Mom's response: "And you didn't invite him over?" - my friend's response: "And you didn't offer to come with him to Russia, to help translate?" ...Where were my brains?...
Well, it sounds like a nice, fun experience .. wish I could have been there! Still, nice report Mowgli .. especially the wonder llama bit
[size=13:7fe24bebc1]Whaaaat?!? You had an excellent presence of mind, you got two books signed and decorated and you didn't freeze up and say [/size:7fe24bebc1] "[size=7:7fe24bebc1]'nkyou'[/size:7fe24bebc1]" [size=13:7fe24bebc1]Go Inna! [/size:7fe24bebc1]
Wow, thanks for telling us about it, Mowgli! I'd like to hear the angioplasty story, as I doubt I'll make it to a signing.
Weee! Definitely, weee... A line I forgot, from the answer to the "advice for young writers" question: "By the way, whenever my editors send a manuscript of mine to the publishers, they always have to include a slip of paper that says "This manuscript is full of spelling and grammatical errors. That's the Discworld STYLE!" ... Because, well, how do you write the dialogue of someone like Granny without the appropriate grammar?" As for the angioplasty story - here goes: (DO NOT read this if you are planning on attending one of the signings, it sounds much better in original Pratchett - and this version is already addled by the fact that it's been 24 hours since I last heard it, and he was speaking rather softly without a microphone, and my hearing is definitely on its way out!) "The way they do angioplasty is through the groin... yes, they go through the groin to get to my heart. Now, I know this is British medicine and all, but still I never thought I'd be telling a DOCTOR: "Look, I'm really sorry, but the heart is HERE... and the groin is ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE... I know they're connected in a metaphorical sense, but it doesn't mean they're in the same physical location!" ... But of course, there I was in the surgery room, and I see my heart beating on the monitor, and I'm thinking, great, the last thing I'll see in this world is my own beating heart... And then, suddenly, I see a man in the corner of the surgery room. And he has a tray hanging from his neck, and it's full of sandwiches. He seems very casual, and no one else is making a fuss, so I assume he has the right to be there - and besides, I'm really hungry, and those sandwiches look really good! ... But then I wake up, and the man is gone, and instead there's this young woman pressing leaning rather heavily on my groin (Say what you want about British medicine!), and one of the doctor says: "By the way, we had a little fun with you back then", which I assume is the doctorspeak for "You almost died on us!" - but then again, that's really what happens during heart surgery, you almost die! - Anyway, the doctor says: "You seemed really intent on getting off that table! Those bruises on your arms - that's from us trying to hold you down, because you kept getting up and going (deep Frankenstein voice): "SAAAAANDWWWIICCH!".... So the moral of the story is - if you ever have a near-sandwich experience, STAY AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH!" And another line I forgot: "Back in England, I have more money than God, who by the way has less money than J.K.Rowling. Because J.K.Rowling has created EVERYTHING" (edited for typos)
heh, I wonder if he does have any harsh feelings toward that article. I did finally have a chance to read the article in Time (magazines show up a little later here). And it was pretty much as reported "Rowling is wonderful, revitilized genre, Morris dancing, doesn't like CS Lewis..." But It didn't seem that it was on her part, more on teh interviewer's part. Reading it made me want to write an angry letter and send a copy of Jingo.
Brilliant! Thank you, Mowgli! Brad, I hate sycophantic journalism like that. The trouble is, it makes me go off the person being interviewed, which isn't really fair.
Thank you for the story Mowgli And yes, it is true, in angioplasty you go to the heart via the groin. I had never though of it that way though :lol:
Damned southern US. Too bad we don't ever get anyone cool coming down here. I wouldn't have minded driving to Atlanta, Nashville, or somewhere within around six hours, but the closest one to me was, I think, around ten to twelve hours. That's just too stinkin far to drive and a flight would be too expensive.
I wanted to go down to Denver to see him, but as always, teh parental units stepped in with a large NO on their lips. I can't wait until college. Come to think of it, I can't wait until I can drive!!
Cool... Great to hear that there are small book signings somewhere, they were all huge affairs here... Although I had heard the angioplasty story before when Terry was at the British Consulate dinner in Canberra but his additional line to it was along the lines of: the definition of hell is cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off... Oh so true.
... I LOVED cucumber sandwiches!!! They + anything with clotted cream was what made me super-defensive about British food!
Heh. What are you gagging at Brad? Cucumber sandwiches or British food? I like cucumber sandwiches too; and Mowgli, a strawberry cream tea is the prince of picnics!
Cucumbers belong in salads. If you insist on putting them on bread then they should accentuate some meat product. Also, they're part of British 'cuisine', so yes to both Buzz
no sense of adventure. Cucumber sandwiches; mars in batter; english breakfasts; haggis, neeps and tatties; Forfar Bridies; oh I could go on...How can you not love good old british cuisine british cuisine...yes, i know how much we all love links Just to quote some of it... [quote:ee578601dd]Environmentalists and tourism bosses alike must be heartened that two-thirds of Britons say they would consider holidaying at home, rather than jet off somewhere sunny, because of the food and drink on offer. Bon appetit indeed. [/quote:ee578601dd]
BLARGH! I despise cucumber sandwiches. They make the bread soggy. And butter? With cucumber? :shock: I don't know why I hate cucumber so much. But then again, Grace, you eat bags of lettuce like crisps
[quote:81be914e64="Delphine"]And butter? With cucumber? [/quote:81be914e64] no one said it had to have butter...
oh good... bread and cucumber with nothing else to flavour. I feel like :vom: Although I'm not anti british cousine (I had shepherds pie for dinner last night for one thing) there are just much better things you can do with a sandwich than just add cucumber...
Heck yeah You can add butter, followed by a thick layer of red caviar! (mmm, salty fish eggs!) ...(or you can keep the cucumbers, but replace butter with cream cheese)
You know, I never thought I'd see the day when non-Brits praised British cuisine! I hear the most comments about it from the French and Americans. Fair enough from the French (although I'd rather have cottage pie than foie gras any day of the week), but America gave the world McDonalds.
Very nice signing, Mowgli. I wonder if Pterry ever wanders into Israel... Nah, probably not. With the translations as they are, his fanbase here isn't that big.
Mowgli is an admited Anglophile Buzz, now if only she'll start the 12 step program... Also, sheperd's pie righhtfully belongs with Celtic food. Regardless of wherever it was created. And while we may cursed the world with McDonald's, we have also blessed the world with Cheese steaks, cheese whiz, Pa Dutch food, and soft pretzels (not to mention creole food) ;-)
Cheese Whizz would be officially classified as glue over here. No objections on the creole food though.
I'm not sure what cheese whiz is, and I'm fairly glad of that! I am also resisting a second hijack about which nations have an actual Celtic element.
[quote:21240f2306="Bradthewonderllama"]Just because it was created in a laboratory doesn't mean that it's not food! ;-)[/quote:21240f2306] The words laboratory and food, when used together, create frightning pictures within my head. I think I'll stick to burekas and fruit for now.
[quote:b6eb848f8c="Saccharissa"]... No objections on the creole food though.[/quote:b6eb848f8c] Ch'aint lived if ch'aven't had PA Dutch food yet.
[quote:ec461fab9d="Bradthewonderllama"]Mowgli is an admited Anglophile Buzz, now if only she'll start the 12 step program...[/quote:ec461fab9d] I'm a conditional phile! I don't like it because it's English, I like it because it's tasty ...And I can stop any time I want to... edited for less weird content and a typo
Cheez Whiz is at least more cheese-like then the aerosol cheese-in-a-can. I am not sure that stuff ever spent any time in a cow. One of the reasons I like to read Beverly Lewis is her descriptions of Pennsylvania Dutch food, seven sweets and seven sours is just the beginning.
An American woman came into work yesterday, and was very shocked to find she was an English size 14. (that's an American size 10?) She blamed it on the fact she'd been eating English food for three weeks. "Oh, your breakfasts! Potatoes with everything! Sauces with everything!" She had enormous fun telling us the hilarious tale of the time she saw a sign which proclaimed "Please put your rubbish in the wheelie bin." It was pure comedy gold, apparantly.
I thought British breakfasts consisted of porrige.... :? And I don't know what she ate back in the US, but here, the typical breakfast is a couple of chocolate doughnuts + cup of coffee with cream and sugar! But if she still continues to pester you, send her to me and we'll swap stories (When I was in London, it took me two days to figure out that "To Let" means "For Rent", and not "Toilet" with an "i" that had fallen out)
Mowgli, Not sure if you are being serious, but if you are, Brits have just teh same choices for breakfast as most countries. Probably the most common these days is cereals with milk and fruit juice or a snack bar. Fresh sugared grapefruit on a saucer is also an old traditional favourite, as is buttered kippers (fried fish). Porridge is an old traditional winter breakfast, but far more Scottish than English. They have it with salt, whereas a lot of Brits (myself included) like it with sugar instead. A proper English breakfast on the other hand is a small fry-up - bacon, sausages, hash browns (fried potato cakes), mushrooms, fried tomatoes, toast, tea,... Noel Coward (playwright) put it rather well once: "the only way to eat well in England is to have breakfast three times a day."
[quote:03cf679214="jajwhite"] A proper English breakfast on the other hand is a small fry-up - bacon, sausages, hash browns (fried potato cakes), mushrooms, fried tomatoes, toast, tea,... [/quote:03cf679214] That's a [i:03cf679214]small[/i:03cf679214] fry up? And you didn't include eggs, the most important part of any english breakfast. When I went to stay with my relatives in scotland, they would have one every single morning. Complete with black pudding and square sausage. After a few weeks of that, I expect you'd see a huge decrease in hangovers, but probably an unfortunate increase in heartburn.
[quote:9bb534e5d0="mowgli"] (When I was in London, it took me two days to figure out that "To Let" means "For Rent", and not "Toilet" with an "i" that had fallen out)[/quote:9bb534e5d0] I lived there till I was 12 and only figured that out about last year...sheesh and I'm british. I just ignored them, thought they were advertising some sort of product, not the actual building :? dear me
[quote:d4ce093b66="jajwhite"].....A proper English breakfast on the other hand is a small fry-up - bacon, sausages, hash browns (fried potato cakes), mushrooms, fried tomatoes, toast, tea,... [/quote:d4ce093b66] If you're lucky, there could also be baked beans and fried bread in there! Note to those not up on all the Enlish food variants - fried bread is not to be confused with toast - toast is slightly singed bread that you put butter and marmalade on - fried bread is also crispy on the exterior but filled with wonderful soaked-in artery-destroying fat! If you're [i:d4ce093b66]really[/i:d4ce093b66] lucky, there could also be kedgeree - a dish of rice and hard-boiled eggs and cooked flaked fish - but that's usually only found in posh households/hotels.
