I was on duty at the health centre yesterday and I came home today. To say that the news Ceriphinz brought saddened me is an understatement. See, I always felt that I could be Tempus, if I worked at those parts of the world. I know just how vicious and beastly people can be to each other and that puts my teeth on edge. Actually dealing with this on a daily basis would have made me as cynical and world-weary as him. I downloaded the photos he posted from the tsunami-inflicted areas, in case HC decides to do away with the boards; while doing that I also saved the links to various posts he made. You know the ones I mean. The Tsunami Update, how much he hated dealing with comittees...and I just got depressed. Seriously depressed. Steven is one of the human race's saving graces, the others being his colleagues. There ought to be a patron saint just for him. So, I thought I'd follow his lead and see if the world will shift into focus when looked from the bottom of a bottle. I didn't even reach the end; four glasses of wine and I was smackered. And it was the worst experience of my life. I am fairly new at driving but having to do itineraries on snow and ice in the winter never gave me the sense of impending death like alcohol did. I was ashen with fear that I would throw up and choke in my own vomit and forced myself to drink plenty of water and walk up and down. I didn't dare take a nap, even though I had come home very tired. And I still felt depressed about Steven, Kat, and whoever the poor man whose corpse was found was. I am seriously reconsidering going to an NGO like "Doctors without Frontiers". If Steven prefered feeling like this at the end of his shifts, I don't think I could handle working where he worked. Which actually makes me admire him even more.[/code]
I came to the boards way after that, but from what I have seen and heard, he seemed a really cool guy. That rape thing, that was horrible, the thought of a country where the victim is actually arrested... God it's horrible.
I wandered through an exhibition of "Doctors Without Frontiers" today and found myself thinking of the news Ceriphinz brought. I've never even met the guy and still found myself standing with a lump in my throat on a public yard in Münsters inner city.
the worst part about reading the rape thread...I was in the country, living, at the time. It was true then and is now. It took more for Tempus not to do anything than it would to throttle the guy. Inknow the type he is talking about, they think they own the world. There is no justice in the world.
I can understand the anger and pain that losing (possibly, there's still hope) a good friend can cause. However, numbing yourself in alcohol does a disservice to the depth of connection that you have with Steve. Embrace your feelings. Get pissed to get pissed and remember him, not to deny the magnitude of caring. I'm trying to phrase my thoughts eloquently, and am failing. For this, I apologize. But, I have to say something. Hopefully you know me well enough to understand my meaning. Stay strong, everyone.
