Roman K says: We're not importing any matches, apparently. Roman K says: By order of the ministry of health. Garner says: ? Garner says: matches, as in a box of matches? Roman K says: Yes. There aren't any in the shops. Garner says: why not Roman K says: Something hazardous to health discovered in them. Roman K says: Not sure where they where they used to be imported from, by the way. Roman K says: Though the box here says Turkey. Garner says: turkey is hazardous to your health? Garner says: man, there goes thanksgiving. Roman K says: I'm guessing some fault was found in one brand and they just banned them all until further notice. Roman K says: How so? Garner says: ... Garner says: i'm going to beat you to death with a sense of humor one of these days Roman K says: I got the joke. Eventually.
The thing found in the matches that was dangerous to your health wouldn't happen to be fire by any chance? Oh and... *points and laughs at Roman*
Nah, it's the sulfur. When eaten in ridiculous quantities, it will give you a tummyache of the century! I'm sorry, Roman! Just because some dumdum went ahead and overdosed on matches, they punish us - the responsible Matches' Eaters!
Instead of laughing, I shall give helpful suggestions. Shame on everyone else! Alternative ways of making fire
I would laugh, really. If it wasn't [i:47b88788ee]so[/i:47b88788ee] something that happens to me at least twice a day.
[quote:3e92c57220="Bradthewonderllama"]It's all a ploy by the matches industry Roman, by decreasing supply match prices will skyrocket.[/quote:3e92c57220] No no, obviously the Lighter companies are leaning on the government. And I mean the companies that make Lighters, not the companies that aren't as heavy. If they leant on the government, well, they wouldn't be able to put much weight on them.
[quote:f4245b3b6a="Bradthewonderllama"]It's all a ploy by the matches industry Roman, by decreasing supply match prices will skyrocket.[/quote:f4245b3b6a] There isn't any supply, man. Anywhere at all. I would understand it if there was a little at a very high price, but this? In any case, there hasn't been any formal announcement or anything, just rumors. And lack of matches.
Didn't the Soviets control their people partly by restricting the flow of required goods, creating shortages and such?
That's wierd. . . . . . . Maybe the Fire Eaters Union will complain. Are lighters still available? And what did you need the matches for? Obviously if you needed them to light stuff and lighters are still available then it's not that big a problem, but if you need them to stuff Garner with then lighters might be too big. . . . . . Problems, problems. #Looks world weary and wise# Uh. . . . . Problems.
Who needs lighters. Humph .. clearly no one read my post about alternative ways to make fire. :evil: That's all Roman needs.
No, I read it. It was good. Well done. #Pats Sampanna on the head in patronising way, ignoring the fact that Sampanna has seniority# No seriously, it was good but you presumed he needed matches to make fire. . . . . . generally correct I know, but still . . . . :snakeman:
How about stuffing him with faggots* and then setting light to him ? Napalm is always a family favourite too... *The wooden kind, not the gay kind, unless you can find a gay tree...
A Gay Tree? What a delightful concept......as in an oak that's attracted to other oaks? Oh dear, now I'm picturing trees mating. Surreal doesn't cover it.
Some trees do have genders. Pecan and hickory trees do as well as some other fruit trees. I think that oaks are asexual. Also, the only way you can get one tree to "mate" with another is by grafting. I've seen a few instances of that happening in nature, kinda like "jungle fever" for the jungle, but most grafting is done purposefully by a person. When I began imagining trees mating they took on the personage of Ents. Then I got to thinking about the long diatribes that they had and began wondering how long the pillow talk would be. Now I'm going to go to bed and try my darndest to dream of anything but Ent love.
I got a full big boc of matches...I'll sell them to anyone who comes to slovenia, really cheap...discounts for members of this forum...
[quote:97261abb3e="Bradthewonderllama"]Tanatie, are you trying to get Roman probed by the Mossad?[/quote:97261abb3e] MmmmmmmMossad probing....
[quote:a29f8e8120="Katcal"]Now is that better or worse than massive match-probing ?[/quote:a29f8e8120] I don't know. Is the match on fire at the time?
#puts up an umbrella and sticks out her tongue at Sampanna# :snakeman: The match is not on fire. Have you ever tried to probe some-one with matches that are lit? Didn't think so. Well I have*, and it's very hard!! *In an alternate/parallel universe. P.S. (it's her, Sampanna. Just so you don't have to type him/her while getting your revenge I'm nothing if not considerate! :snakeman:
[quote:e66311bf03="redneck"]When I began imagining trees mating they took on the personage of Ents. Then I got to thinking about the long diatribes that they had and began wondering how long the pillow talk would be. Now I'm going to go to bed and try my darndest to dream of anything but Ent love.[/quote:e66311bf03] Congratulations, redneck, you narrowly missed having me cover my laptop with tea.
If you need further reasons to laugh at Roman, here's a banner from an Israeli site that Roman linked me to: [img:db07854179]http://ads.pro-market.net/ads/20/31/38_683x60_0001.gif[/img:db07854179] Note: It was a news site he linked me to, not some kind of kinky Jew-sex site. Unless the news site had a hidden agenda he didn't inform me of.
[quote:303f6c823e="spiky"]I see it and have only one question: Why would Jewish love make my mum happy?[/quote:303f6c823e] Well, there are 2 answers : - 1st, your mum, and therefore you, is jewish, and so finding a nice jewish boy (preferably a doctor) to marry, would make her happy, and therefore get her off your back. - 2nd, your mum isn't jewish, and in this case, I can't see why... Unless it means finding HER a jewish lover, which I don't quite get... I mean italian lovers are well known, black lovers are well known, but jewish... oh, ok, yep, got it
I don't know if I want my mom THAT happy, :lol: now I have a image in my head :shock: GETITOUT GETITOUT
[quote:b00fb419c5="Electric_Man"]If you need further reasons to laugh at Roman, here's a banner from an Israeli site that Roman linked me to: [Banner Was Here] Note: It was a news site he linked me to, not some kind of kinky Jew-sex site. Unless the news site had a hidden agenda he didn't inform me of.[/quote:b00fb419c5] It's just a dating banner. There's hordes of them out there. This one, being in an Israeli news site, has Jews as its primary consumer pool, is all. Frankly, as it's in English I would say that it has US Jews as its primary consumer pool.
yes, there's nothing at all self-deprecating and deliberately ironic OR, alternately, horrificly stereotypical and posibly racist to anyone looking at moving beyond older, traditional views, about a 'lets keep the chosen race going' advert that promises it will make mom happy. I haven't got any idea why ben thought it was noteworthy.
Mainly I posted it because the "Make your mother happy" bit was pretty funny. As was the mention of "Jewish Love", which seemed barely a step away from things like "Hot midget-on-midget action!"* I've also just noticed that the letters JLo are incorporated into the banner, a sure sign of additional eviltude. *disclaimer, I have never seen hot midget-on-midget action, nor would I like to. I have, however, seen 'proclamations' such as that in papers/websites, not that I could recall exactly where at this moment in time.
**resists the urge to stab Garner** Well, if I judge from the number of "find single christians in your area" banners that I have come across on the net, it's far from being "a jewish thing", and I'm sure the muslims have their matrimonial agencies too, but yes, the actual slogans were funny...
[quote:6e967699f9="Garner"]yes, there's nothing at all self-deprecating and deliberately ironic OR, alternately, horrificly stereotypical and posibly racist to anyone looking at moving beyond older, traditional views, about a 'lets keep the chosen race going' advert that promises it will make mom happy. [/quote:6e967699f9] It's a dating site banner, man. There really isn't that much import one can place in a dating site banner, no matter what it says, supposedly says, or might say if you look at it sideways or upside down.
[quote:949b985844="chrisjordan"]But! The slogan was funny. (Well, I thought it was.)[/quote:949b985844] It was. In truth, I was the one who told Ben to post it in the first place.
That's a half-truth! *digs out convo history* [quote:a217ed77a7]Ben: lol, the banner for a dating service: "make your mother happy: where jewish love begins!" Roman K: I loved that one. Roman K: Post that banner. [/quote:a217ed77a7] So really, I was the one that found it funny and Roman then agreed to the point of suggesting posting it. Nothing fraudulent about that, I may be a bit dirty, but that's only because it's so hot that I'm sweating like a pig that's been on gas mark 5 for 70-80 minutes.
[quote:81f21d5beb="Electric_Man"]Nothing fraudulent about that, I may be a bit dirty, but that's only because it's so hot that I'm sweating like a pig that's been on gas mark 5 for 70-80 minutes.[/quote:81f21d5beb] Ew. That is seriously one image thats way more disturbing than midget on midget OR Jewish love that would make my mum happy... *Gets wire brush and tries to scour brain to remove memory*
[quote:48a7443738="spiky"][quote:48a7443738="Electric_Man"]Nothing fraudulent about that, I may be a bit dirty, but that's only because it's so hot that I'm sweating like a pig that's been on gas mark 5 for 70-80 minutes.[/quote:48a7443738] Ew. That is seriously one image thats way more disturbing than midget on midget OR Jewish love that would make my mum happy... *Gets wire brush and tries to scour brain to remove memory*[/quote:48a7443738] No, no, no, use the wire brush to remove [i:48a7443738]Ben[/i:48a7443738].
