I'm sorry, but... what? Who? After some research, I found out that it was someone that posted 9 times in 2 days a month ago, and hasn't been seen since. Do we really need a birthday thread for every person that comes stumbling in and out of here? For that matter, do we even need birthday threads at all?
Well I'm sorry for this useless thread then, I thought I had seen her around not that long ago, but hey, I must be wrong. We could have just the one generic birthday thread, quite a lot of boards have those... But since we are pointing fingers at people's board frequencies, you still haven't answered the question you were asked in Members news a while back...
I'm not entirely sure we even need any birthday threads at all. Certainly, when they first started they at least had some merit in that the starting post had information about "on this day" and famous birthdays and things. But now? I can't really see any point in thread after thread of people saying "happy birthday", no matter how many god damned languages people say it in. It just doesn't make it interesting to read, and indeed, is little more than an ego stroking excerise. Anyway, regardless of the overall uselessness of these threads, as clogging as they are, this particular one is a head scratcher. It's a case of wishing someone a happy birthday not cause you know them, not cause you like them, not cause anyone actually knows who they are, but purely out of "look how nice we are!" To my mind, that's no reason to wish anyone a happy birthday. There's probably several million other people who's birthday it is today as well, and I (nor anyone else on this board) don't know any of them any better than I know peggster. But we don't start a thread for all of them do we? Edit: I have now answered that question. I have been away visiting my lady friend for the last few days, as well as having an ear infection. So i've not had time
I don't see anything wrong with birthday threads as they are. It's nice to have a place to wish a friend a happy birthday, its the board equivelent of sending a card, and it only happens once a year. People will always start them for their friends, and if you don't want to wish someone happy birthday, you can ignore it. its a fair bet you wont be missing anything interesting. But, yeah. I've never heard of peggster before, she hasn't posted in ages, and it's honestly unlikely, looking at her post history (as doors stated), that she will see this thread at all. so I don't really feel the need to say happy birthday. As harmless and well intentioned as they are, we don't want a birthday thread for every single person to register.
Yes point taken, but as I said, I had the feeling I had seen her around lately, maybe I was just reading an old post or journal, but that's why I started it, if I had noticed she hadn't been around, I wouldn't have, obviously... End of conversation...
And Doors is just pissed because nobody remembers his birthday, unlike me. Wait! Nobody remembered my birhtday either!! Damn all the birthday greetings! Anyone that sends a greeting is a dork. (unless it's sent to me, then your a sweet person with genuine taste)
[quote:0b1edb1855="redneck"]And Doors is just pissed because nobody remembers his birthday, unlike me. Wait! Nobody remembered my birhtday either!! Damn all the birthday greetings! Anyone that sends a greeting is a dork. (unless it's sent to me, then your a sweet person with genuine taste)[/quote:0b1edb1855] http://www.terrypratchettbooks.org/fortopic609.html birthday doors
I'm with Doors on this one - the "on this day" thing was nice, but required someone to do the research, and for the long-standing members that research would have to be deeper each year to avoid simply repeating the same information. Also, when each of these new threads is just a string of the same message, albeit with everybody showing off their linguistic skills (or to put it another way, using their native language on the Board for a change) one begins to feel embarrassed about just adding the stock message as a meaningless matter of course, but also about not doing so (especially when one's own birthday is coming up! Mine was last month, so I am looking ahead with a clear view!) - I think that the best bet is to keep the calendar with the birthdays that we know about listed, and if people want to send greetings, they can PM.
I've not been here especially long, so not been exposed to the obvious mental torment of a few people wishing each other happy birthday, but it seems a shame. If you dont want to wish somebody happy birthday then dont view the thread, it's presence on the forum surely cant be potentially harmful in any way and if others feel inclined to wish somebody a happy birthday then I dont see what the fuss is about or why they should be obliged to PM it rather than leaving a message all can see, which also acts as a reminder to any who didnt notice or forgot the upcoming birthday. Perhaps I'm just very shallow but I think I'd welcome one when my birthday comes along, if I'm still about then and anybody feels inclined to say so! Also, as Kat has repeatedly said, she thought she'd seen a new post by this member quite recently so didnt realise they'd left.
Ok, lets put it this way. A birthday thread is possibly the most impersonal thing I have ever seen when it comes to conveying birthday wishes. Do people post in them because they know the person? Or do they post in them cause they feel obliged to? Now, in the case of this particular thread the people that did wish peggster a happy birthday did so out of obligation. To be nice. Certainly, they don't know peggster or anything about peggster. If the thread wasn't here, would they have done so? No. No they would not. It's akin to recieving a birthday card from a bank or something. They don't know you, they don't care about you. Your name appeared on a list (see board calendar) and it generated an automatic birthday response (this thread). Now, I'm sure that's perfectly lovely and all. I would personally love to know that I got automated birthday wishes. But, perhaps, can you maybe see the flaw in it? Maybe? As to ignoring the threads, I do. I only looked at this one cause I saw the name and hadn't got a fucking clue who it was.
The only birthday thread that is (in my mind, at least) note worthy was my own, because it a) was about me, and b) was 9 months too early.
[quote:281d58c010="chrisjordan"][quote:281d58c010="Katcal"]End of conversation...[/quote:281d58c010] Say please. 8)[/quote:281d58c010] I meant end of conversation on my part, I don't often say please to myself. Maybe I should.
Sorry but no, I'm still in the dark about why you take such exception to it. This wasnt an automated response, this required Katcal to take the time and make the effort to start it. It had no ulterior motives such as the example of the bank or an advertising agency but was inspired by a genuinely welcoming person who took the time to put this up in spite of not knowing the person too well but under the belief they were active and checked here. I've never posted anywhere due to a feeling of obligation and I doubt I ever would. The starter post certainly didnt in any way make me feel guilty or obliged to instantly tag on a message.
I pretty much agree with what Watchman has said so far. I recieved a birthday thread last year and really enjoyed it. I didn't this year and it didn't bother me. I don't think they should be discontinued nor do I think that they should be required. On a second note, if everyone hates Doors and he got a Birthday thread, where does that leave me? Dammit, I'm hated even more than Doors. I might as well kill myself. *kicks Ba in the butt and shoots Garner with a spitwad*
[quote:c20f4d7ee6="Watchman"]Sorry but no, I'm still in the dark about why you take such exception to it. This wasnt an automated response, this required Katcal to take the time and make the effort to start it. It had no ulterior motives such as the example of the bank or an advertising agency but was inspired by a genuinely welcoming person who took the time to put this up in spite of not knowing the person too well but under the belief they were active and checked here. I've never posted anywhere due to a feeling of obligation and I doubt I ever would. The starter post certainly didnt in any way make me feel guilty or obliged to instantly tag on a message.[/quote:c20f4d7ee6] Well, I don't think I'm taking exception to it as such. These threads have been ongoing for at least 2 years or so, and I've never said anything about them before. And I would never have if it weren't for this particular thread highlighting them. However, now that I'm talking about this thread, I don't see any harm in expanding the conversation to cover the other threads as well. I don't think that anyone argues this thread wasn't a mistake, but it was created cause Katcal looked at a list and saw that it was somoenes birthdays and made a thread to go with it. While not a totally automated action, it's pretty damn close. What was automated was the responses from the other people that did wish happy birthday. I suspect if someone started a birthday thread for a non existent person, it would have more than a couple of posts before anyone noticed something was wrong. And to me, that highlights a fundamental impersonality in the process. Meh, I really don't care whether birthday threads go on or not. I rarely post in them anyway. I do tend to ignore them. This one was created in error, thanks to a flag in a database, much like several others. How anyone can say that's personal, I'm not sure. Just because there's no ulterior motive doesn't make it personal. But, meh. I just get the feeling it'd be easier to start a thread called "Happy birthday POSTER" and all post birthday wishes in it. Then direct people who's birthday it is to read it. It'd be exactly the same, but with less typing involved
[quote:1d51ae4972="Garner"]I tend to ignore birthday threads - I'm lazy like that. I feel bad about it when its a friend, particularly one who I won't be seeing online to say happy birthday to in person, but I at least *think* good thoughts for them. Most of the time. Maybe this makes me a bad friend. I'm also rubbish at writing thank you cards for presents and the like. However, if I'm in a metaphorical room when someone I don't know is being toasted in acknowledgement of their birthday, I'd think it rude not to reply with my own well wishes. It's a sort of generalized random act of kindness. Yet, Pegster doesn't seem to be in the room. Katcal appears to have made a mistake on that. Fair enough, it happens. No one deserves any blame or reproach for anything up to this point, except maybe me for not having sent out enough thank you cards for wedding presents. Two years and counting, there. Oops. But, Doors raises some bloody valid points that have gotten unjustly spat on because he doesn't know how to raise them politely. Here's a hasty distillation: 1) the birthday threads have gotten a bit bland in recent times, lacking the nifty trivia. They've taken on an air of sameness, and i'd agree they have a bit of an 'automated response' feel even though it does take a few moments of our time (hardly any investment, even for someone on dialup, though) to say 'happy birthday'. 2) the behavior, having become automatic or rote, seems to exist simply for its own sake, not for the sake of metaphorically buying someone a round. this is evidenced in a birthday thread being made not because we knew it was someone's birthday coming up because they're our friend, but because they'd included their birthday in the calander. at that point, it's not unreasonable for doors to feel that the threads are 'nice for the sake of being nice'. Point two may seem rather alien, especially to someone who's a fairly recent arrival here, but it may be helpful to know that we had a rather traumatic falling out with some members of our community a year or so ago, people who insisted on being nice for the sake of being nice to the point of being unable to honestly raise a discussion that might have negative impacts. It was a situation in which someone could not say 'I think this birthday thread is a bit pointless' without an immediate emotional response from a half dozen people crying out 'What kind of heartless monster are you, someone took the time to make this post, and its still a nice gesture so we're going to make it law to be nice to each other'. I wish that was just hyperbolicly distorted, but its sadly pretty darn close to the truth. Such impersonal nicity seems offensive to some of us on principle, and all the moreso for the row it eventually lead to. While I've been drafting this, I was told Doors made another post and I have to agree 100% with his idea that if someone made a "Happy birthday [non existant person]" thread, it would garner at least a few genuine birthday wishes from people who replied first and thought second. Maybe that kind of generally well-wishing and welcoming attitude should be used to demonstrate that we're a bunch of nice and friendly people - in fact, it definately should - but it also means that no one has any right to growl at community founders because they raised valid objections. So, in conclusion: Katcal = her heart's in the right place. In a box on the shelf in Ba's pantry, I think. kudos to you, katcal. Doors = needs a course on public relations. otherwise, crack on, boy! Peggster = may never post again if she sees this thread. ironic, really. Me = hungry. give me your money so i can buy some lunch.[/quote:1d51ae4972]
Right, so in the future: No one should make happy birthday threads unless they mean it. If they do, they should put some effort into making it personal. A bit of trivia wouldn't hurt. Or maybe something about the person in question. Incidentally, only about a month and a half until Ba's...
[quote:c79590f0ff="Garner via prosthetic carrot"]Katcal = her heart's in the right place. In a box on the shelf in Ba's pantry, I think. kudos to you, katcal. [/quote:c79590f0ff] Bloody well hope not I told him to put it in the fridge or it'll go rotten and attract ants and crawly things. Again. But hey, at least we can't call Ba heartless any more... Now, to make this conform to new standards, I shall say a little something about peggster. **clears throat** "A little something. About Peggster."
To be honest I wasn't going to reply at first because I wasn't sure if peggster was still around, or even who they were really, but when two regular people replied I just jumped on the bandwagon in case it was me being ignorant and not noticing peggster in the first place. Still, I don't really mind; they might return after all, and they did put their birthday on the calendar so they must have thought they were staying at the time. I don't really care that much either way. My own birthday was missed every year until this year I think, but Marcia says that was my fault for not telling anyone. I would like a happy birthday myself in the future, I don't get that many. I guess if it's a regular poster that you like there's no harm in making a birthday thread, but it is a bit pointless if you don't know them or they're brand new - in which case they should have received a welcome or two if they introduced themselves, which should be enough to see them through.
My own particular view on Birthday threads is that they are pretty harmless things. I, personally, will only post on one if I feel I know the person who's birthday it is. If I don't, I'll ignore it. When I first saw the name of the poster I did scratch my head a little as to who they were, the name rang a vague bell and once I realised that they made 9 posts a few months ago, that explained why it was vague. But, again, I would have ignored it due to laziness and harmlessness, even if I did think it a little silly. When it comes to birthday threads, they do seem a bit genericised (if that's a word), most of the greetings are a simple "Happy Birthday " or mild/foreign variations thereof, which I've probably been guilty of myself, although I do usually try to add something personal. Thing is though, that I'll normally not look at the thread again until the Birthday boy/girl posts, as the posts inbetween are normally standard. But even then they have a point, as for the Birthday girl/boy, it's very much appreciated. So, I don't have a problem with the birthday threads, although ones for people who have only posted a couple of times are slightly weird. I can also see where the big bad Doors is coming from, though I think birthday threads in general are good things to have.
I agreee that having one thread for all birthday messages could be best. If a member's birthday is on, they could check in the Birthday Greetings thread to see if they have been left any messages. Perhaps we could even make it a 'sticky' at the top of Boardania? After all, new threads, addressed to each member whose birthday it is, are seen atleast once a week (and oftentimes more frequently)
Nah, Ba still likes the idea of having individual birthday threads. It's just that it should be done because one knows and likes the person, not because, oh, it's their birthday. Best get a thread up. What's the point of wishing someone a happy birthday if it's not special?
My mindset was much like Mal's, only I didn't look into this thread again until it was too late to blunder in, so I didn't post in it.
Ah. I did think you meant the conversation as a whole, but I wasn't really being serious about it anyway.
[quote:a368dace05="chrisjordan"][quote:a368dace05="Katcal"][quote:a368dace05="chrisjordan"][quote:a368dace05="Katcal"]End of conversation...[/quote:a368dace05] Say please. 8)[/quote:a368dace05] I meant end of conversation on my part, I don't often say please to myself. Maybe I should.[/quote:a368dace05] Ah. I did think you meant the conversation as a whole, but I wasn't really being serious about it anyway.[/quote:a368dace05] Serious ? Wazzat ? Oh well, whatever... At least if peggster returns she'll be happy at how popular she is, 3 whole pages of nice long posts, I don't think anyone's birthday thread has been this popular so far...
I got to thinking, and perhaps we should move this discusion to the temple. That was were everyone agreed that we would discuss issues pertaining to the board itself.
I'm pleading guilty here. I responded without looking, I even missed Doors's "Who?" post. This was partly because I missed the birthday thread a week or so back and I felt bad... and partly because I haven't been around the boards as much as I wanted. Now, in 2 weeks I want a damn birthday thread, even if you guys hate my guts! ;-)
