Hints, clues, or scientific backing

I work with a machine that generates a lot of static electricity. It blows aluminum oxide "sand" through a small nozzel and I direct the nozzel to eat the paint, dirt, and grease off all of the aluminum parts that come my way. Using that as the background, I have some things to dicuss.

First, if I don't take a shower for a day (or two depending on how I'm feeling at the time) I only get the piss shocked out of me on occasion instead of the usual shit kicking shock that happens when I am squeaky clean. I think that it has something to do with not having enough oils on my skin to deter static buildup. Am I just making this up or is there something behind this? Does anyone have any hints as to how to reduce the shock count and level?

I keep hoping that one of these times it's going to shock me and I'll get super-powers. Then I'll be able to make all of the Doormencons. I'm not sure that my super powers will actually help me get to England or anything like that, but maybe by selling some of the power stuff then I'll have the money to quit my job and take up travelling full-time. Yeah, that sounds like the life. And then there's figurines!

PS- did everyone notice my lack of "electrocution" in the above post? good.

I have static electricity issues myself.

I stop watches.

Im assuming you are recieving the shocks through your hands?
In which case the oils on your hands will be washed off everytime you wash your hands as much as they would having a shower.

Whilst it may be ok to leave your showering for a day or two I cant imagine for hiegene sake you can go without cleaning your hands, after toilet visits and before eating if at no other time.

So any oils on your hands will be washed of then and so your theory surely doesnt stand up.... of course this is theory on my part and I could be totally out as I dont have all the facts.

I used to work in mobile phone repair and we had anti shock mats that the engineers stood on and clipped themselves onto via a wrist band. Maybe you should ask your employer about something along these lines? Tell them your gonna sue if they dont

Get super powers first, then sue them and keep the powers

It's worth a try. Superpowers would be rather useful. I keep getting static shocks from things like shopping trolleys (it's true- theye are evil) and door handles. I'm now hoping that they will build up to give me the power of telekinesis.

Rebel, I stand on a rubber mat and the shocks enter through my arms and legs or whatever is touching the machine. My hands are stuck inside the machine holding the parts, kinda like the incubators that are in maternity hospitals.

Well that blows my theory........


Are you earthed by the way? I mentioned that our engineers had a wrist strap as well as standing on a matt... the wrist strap earthed them to the workbench which in turn was earthed.


Is it like the opening credits to the Simpsons where he has his arms in the machine working on the radioactive thingy.... Cos thats how Ive pictured it from your description. So now everytim I see a post from you the Simpsons theme music is gonna be playing in my head.

I picture a fat Einstein with a Duff beer in his hand.

Think a skinny Einstein, but keep the Duff beer, CY.
Rebel, the radioactive thingy is exactly like what I'm talking about. And we don't have the grounding strap. We move way too much to use it. I would spend more time attaching my wrist band than I would working. I run three seperate machines.
On a side note. My right nipple got shocked last night. I was leaning over to reach a part and ZAP!!! it got me on the breast. My body jerked back so fast that I hit my head on the window. It didnt' hurt badly but it startled me. Afterwards I just laughed for a while at the hilarity of it. I may be moving off the machine in a few days anyway.

You know there are people pay good money to be shocked like that.....

I used to pick up a lot of static at my previous employment.

It is easiest (less painful) to either:
a) Earth yourself with your finger - then you know it is coming and is less painful

b) carry a piece of metal to earth yourself - that would conduct away the static charge, in a painless maner...

If you are cruel though - you can zap other people too! Much more fun...

Or you could stand in a tub of water...

I have no idea of what effect this would have but at least you'll have cool feet.

Nah... Its not that ambitious... It probably just makes it so he can hear his own thoughts

Mel told me the other day that it was all the fault of the Jews. So blame it on Roman. If you can't find him blame Doors. It's never Mel's fault.

He's the scape goat. Goats were sacrificed to God by the Jews. The goats symbolized the blood of the Jews that had to be shed for their trespasses. Therefore he's an honorary, if not crispy, quasi-Jew.

(no goats were harmed in the typing of this post)

*bzzzt* I would like to retract the closing statement. My superpowers seem to have afflicted a goat.

(one goat was harmed in the typing of this post)

Poor goat. Did you give it mouth to mouth in an effort to resucitate it?

What? That would very closely akin to kissing Doors. I'm sure that neither he nor I would want that to happen. I just kicked the goat in the rump and he got going again.