So, last winter I commented on some blue tits that were hanging out outside the window in our computer room. I'd never seen blue tits before. let me stop here and say no, this isn't leading towards some sort of mammary joke. The birds would fly over to the window and peck at the edges before flying back to the tree in our neighbor's back garden. out of curiosity, i googled around until i was able to identify the bird and the source of its behavior. seems these little guys peck at window calking for the linseed oil in it. anyway, grace found my fascination with the birds to be fascinating in kind, so she'd been talking about getting a bird feeder that we could put outside the window and watch the birds when they came to eat. i agreed it was a good idea, and then in true garner family fashion, we completely ignored it at that point. until, that is, grace came home with a bird feeder she'd bought. this was months later, after i'd completely forgotten about the idea. this bird feeder was a sort that had a feed tray you could take out to refill, and suction cups to stick it onto your window. the whole process, when being implemented above the ground floor, was pretty poorly planned. just reaching in to get the feed tray was going to be a wrist breakingly difficult task. so, i ignored it for quite some time. today, after watching some cute little coal tits titter about for an hour or two in the morning, we finally got some bird seed and i put the feeder out on the window. after a while, grace looked out the window and alerted me that the feeder was slipping. one of the suction cups wasn't sucking enough. repeated efforts failed to remedy the situation. at one point, the faulty sucker was induced to suck hard enough to stay put, at which point its companion got a little slack in the vaccum department. eventually i took the damn feeder off the window and set it down inside. a while later, when i was bored enough, i tried again and, so we thought, achieved success. after about ten minutes of nail bitting, edge of our seats tension, the feeder had not slipped down the window! eventually grace went out to her singing lesson, and i went and had a nap. just as i was drifting off to sleep, there was a horribly loud bang and all the birds outside stopped twittering. turns out, neither suction cup sucked all that much, and the feeder had collapsed off the window, onto a plasting awning below, and from there it bounced off into a neighbor's back garden where it may never be seen again. as i was in the other room napping at the time, i'll probably never find out if the thing collapsed from the added weight of a bird or not. I'd imagine if it'd been a damned gull or something, that might be possible, but i can't quite see a tit as managing it. anyway, now i'm stuck here with a one kilo bag of bird seed, no bird feeder, and a vauge wonderment that about 60% of the seeds in this bag are some species of cannabis.
Cannabis? So you planned to get your tits high? My grandparents have a couple of window feeders (as well as a proper bird table), but they aren't that popular due to the closeness to the house. They are especially timid if there are actually people in the room that the window is in, thus defeating the real point of the window feeder - to be able to observe the birds closer. Thing is though, they do still get the occasional bird and the feeder reamins attached to the window, so I can only presume your suckers blow.
**giggles and points, in traditional playground fashion** Garner's got tiiiits, Garner's got tiiiits **goes back to usual serious self** My parents just hang those bag-like things with a lump of birdystuff in it... but then they do have a garden which makes it easier. And sometime when they're feeling sadistic they put out birdfeed on a saucer where the cats can reach...
My folks have a few feeders - with Tits (various) and Woodpeckers among others - They are fine until the pigeons and squirrels come visiting - That does however feed the Hawks pretty well - Explosion of feathers and all that! Very impressive to watch After 5 years of trying to breed frogs - they finally had loads of Frogspawn this year. That was then eaten by the (cute) ducks Oddly enough the dogs don't bother them So much for retreivers...
Try splashing some water onto the glass and then stick the sucker on it .. assuming a. You get your bird feeder back b. You want to try this still c. The birds haven't pegged you down as a birdicidial (? there has to be a word for this!)
[quote:a40897b3df="missy"]heh Birderer. Sounds like you are saying murderer with a snotty nose! [/quote:a40897b3df] That was funny enough to make me choke on my pizza you burgerer you...
[quote:173429bd9d="sampanna"]Try splashing some water onto the glass and then stick the sucker on it .. assuming a. You get your bird feeder back b. You want to try this still c. The birds haven't pegged you down as a birdicidial (? there has to be a word for this!)[/quote:173429bd9d] well, this does raise a question... what made the feeder fall? was it atmospheric pressure weakening the vaccum seal of the suction cups? was is rubber fatigue in the cups themselves? or was it the added weight of a chirpy little bird coming in for some food that caused the thing to crash its way into doom?
Clay, did you clean the glass before applying the sucker? If not, then that might be what is causing it to slip. I also thought tha a squirrel mayhave gotten on the feeder and made it fall.
Clay - think outside the box - presumably this feeder has protuberances - like the ones with the suction cups - forget attatching it directly to the windows - get some nails and a damn great hammer and nail it to the windowsill! (There are not many problems of this sort that can't be solved with a damn great hammer - and those that can't can usually be solved with gaffer tape!)
Come on, Om - if you hammer the birds too much, how will they be able to play with the cats? - sorry - how will the cats be able to play with them?
Magnets must surely be the answer. Create a large enough magnetic field and the feeder will stick for sure, and birds will be drawn from miles around.
An industrial fan placed in your garden, facing your window, should keep the bird feeder, and birds, firmly stuck to your window.
[quote:1219e7344c="Pixel"]Come on, Om - if you hammer the birds too much, how will they be able to play with the cats? - sorry - how will the cats be able to play with them?[/quote:1219e7344c] I thought birds that are completely hammered* were great fun to play with... at least, that's what a friend of mine keeps telling me... a distant friend of mine, I hasten to add. [size=5:1219e7344c]*note to non-native-english-speakers : birds is an old-fashioned slang word for girls, and hammered is also a way of saying drunk. And never explain your jokes, because that totally ruins the whole effect and/or means they weren't funny to start with.[/size:1219e7344c]
[quote:08c130eacf="Katcal"][quote:08c130eacf="Pixel"]Come on, Om - if you hammer the birds too much, how will they be able to play with the cats? - sorry - how will the cats be able to play with them?[/quote:08c130eacf] I thought birds that are completely hammered* were great fun to play with... at least, that's what a friend of mine keeps telling me... a distant friend of mine, I hasten to add. [size=12:08c130eacf]*note to non-native-english-speakers : birds is an old-fashioned slang word for girls, and hammered is also a way of saying drunk. And never explain your jokes, because that totally ruins the whole effect and/or means they weren't funny to start with.[/size:08c130eacf][/quote:08c130eacf] Katcal - I've expanded your footnote for the benefit of anyone who didn't spend the time working out how to read it (my first success was copy and paste into Notepad!). Your distant friend sounds like someone who would be better off with one of those plastic dolls which need a bicycle pump to get them ready for bed - at the risk of drawing down the wrath of Garner et al for discussing sexual matters (although I didn't actually start the hijack) - who needs a drunk woman in bed? If one has got to get her drunk to get her there then there is something wrong, and anyway sex is better sober so both parties can enjoy it to the full! OK, end of preach!
sorry about the footnote size, it's only slightly under normal size for me... maybe it's a firefox thing ? And I never said it was anything sexual Pixel dear, playing twister or one of those danse-pad-video-games with a drunk girl [b:67a4af36f1]is [/b:67a4af36f1]great fun But if I see him again, I will transmit the expert advice of using a bicycle pump, I always innocently thought that they could be inflated like a beach ball but then I have never had an occasion to test this or even think about it that much... Edited later for spullng musteks...
[quote:25229526d9="Pixel"]Your distant friend sounds like someone who would be better off with one of those plastic dolls which need a bicycle pump to get them ready for bed - at the risk of drawing down the wrath of Garner et al for discussing sexual matters (although I didn't actually start the hijack) - who needs a drunk woman in bed? If one has got to get her drunk to get her there then there is something wrong, and anyway sex is better sober so both parties can enjoy it to the full! OK, end of preach![/quote:25229526d9] Pixel, ever hear of real dolls?
Katcal - I don't know about "dance-pad-video-games" but I don't see any way that you can claim that Twister is not sexual! To my mind, it is something that became an acceptable alternative as the old traditional body-contact dancing fell into disuse - a way to subtly find out whether or not one was getting the hoped-for response from a prospective partner. Garner - I presume (correct me if I'm wrong - and I'm sure you will) that when you say "real dolls" you are talking American and mean attractive women - this is the point I am making - a sober woman is far more attractive than a drunk one - now, I have to be careful here considering how often I am drunk, and the previous comment applies just as much to men - but more importantly, a drunk woman is more likely to be taken advantage of (Grace forgive me for my grammar) - which is what was worrying me about Katcal's "distant friend".
[quote:6ebe28cd0b="Pixel"]Katcal - I don't know about "dance-pad-video-games" but I don't see any way that you can claim that Twister is not sexual! To my mind, it is something that became an acceptable alternative as the old traditional body-contact dancing fell into disuse - a way to subtly find out whether or not one was getting the hoped-for response from a prospective partner. Garner - I presume (correct me if I'm wrong - and I'm sure you will) that when you say "real dolls" you are talking American and mean attractive women - this is the point I am making - a sober woman is far more attractive than a drunk one - now, I have to be careful here considering how often I am drunk, and the previous comment applies just as much to men - but more importantly, a drunk woman is more likely to be taken advantage of (Grace forgive me for my grammar) - which is what was worrying me about Katcal's "distant friend".[/quote:6ebe28cd0b] Iv'e played Twister with my mom and stepdad in their younger days! To be fair i think it depends on how your mind works, it could well be just an innocent game.
Any game can that has possible physical contact between the players is easy to view as a game with sexual undertones. It does not mean that it *has* sexual undertones, just that they're easier to see and possibly *add* by those who want them. A game can just be a game, Pixel.
[quote:197e5af6a6="Roman_K"]Any game can that has possible physical contact between the players is easy to view as a game with sexual undertones. It does not mean that it *has* sexual undertones, just that they're easier to see and possibly *add* by those who want them. A game can just be a game, Pixel.[/quote:197e5af6a6] Well the last time I played Twister I was something like 11 and I didn't even know what sexual undertones [b:197e5af6a6]were[/b:197e5af6a6]!!!
[quote:2390a4749d="Pixel"]Garner - I presume (correct me if I'm wrong - and I'm sure you will) that when you say "real dolls" you are talking American and mean attractive women - this is the point I am making - a sober woman is far more attractive than a drunk one - now, I have to be careful here considering how often I am drunk, and the previous comment applies just as much to men - but more importantly, a drunk woman is more likely to be taken advantage of (Grace forgive me for my grammar) - which is what was worrying me about Katcal's "distant friend".[/quote:2390a4749d] No, that's not what Garner meant. He meant this.
I actually saw a documentory showing how they're made, it was quite interesting and you can see why they costy as much as they do. This was a subdocumentory type of thing on discovery channel, it was on a program (can't remember the name) about how different things are made. It also showed us how hypodermic(Sp?) needles are made.
[quote:36f79ad229="redneck"]Where does Ba come up with these things? That was... interesting.[/quote:36f79ad229] Nah, Ba probably just googled it, the question is where did Garner come up with it from ?
Ba got it from Garner long ago. Garner got it from Howard Stern. Howard Stern got it because he's a sad, lonely man off of the radio.
You can get Twister quilt covers. In this case, it's probably fair to assume that they would mainly be used with some kind of kinky intent. But normal twister is a game for anyone to play. Children play it. And people still dance. It's not like it went out of fashion. Also, i think Katcal's post was mainly a jest. A post about having fun with drunk women doesn't always have to come down to the issue of women being taken for granted or gender equality or the crapness of drunk sex. Katcal, i don't think you ever need to worry about explaining your jokes and removing the humour ever again. Not after all this.
[quote:3578941c83="Delphine"]Katcal, i don't think you ever need to worry about explaining your jokes and removing the humour ever again. Not after all this. [/quote:3578941c83] Yep, good idea... next time I'll spend a little more time trying to make it funny and less time explaining. Or maybe I'll just drop trying to do jokes and go to the beach. It's about an hour's journey, that should get you guys some decent recovery time.
I don't listen to howard stern. I heard about them, i think, being used by police in entrapment stings to see if people would abuse a sedated child or something. this was years ago, i'm not 100% sure how it was supposed to work. The other place i remember hearing about them around that time was from an air force captain. he was into robotics and he and some of his buddies were hoping to pool their money to commission one using a skeleton of their own design.
I read an article about realdolls in cosmopolitan. It was an interview with a few guys who owned them. It was quite thought provoking, in that it's hard to determine whether they're a safe device for lonely men, or just another line crossed in what's acceptable and what isn't. One of the men believed his realdoll was a 15 year old virgin whom he deflowered himself. Another sat his at the dinner table with his wife and son when they ate breakfast and things. It really did show an ingrained belief that they were real people. That kind of fantasy life isn't healthy. But, then again Cosmo isn't exactly accurate. I'm sure lots of it was biased in the name of shocking reading, and there will always be extremists like this in everything, but still. Realdolls serve an obvious purpose, but forming such a dependant attachment on something like that must really fuck your mind up.
Some of the bodies look really good, realistic, but the faces all look kind of wrong - like artificial intelligence, without the intelligence, or a sci fi android that's been switched off. I can see them being much better soon, and combined with robotics later, to bring us into an Asimov era.
well, given that his show moved to a paid subscription radio format, and none of you people ever give me any money, even if i DID listen to howard stern, i couldn't afford to now. note: if you want to buy things for me, subscriptions to howard stern are not good gift ideas. video games are.
In the comic The Lifer Montechristo the rat had brought in prison an inflatable doll and rented it out to the inmates. The only one who didn't use it was the Lifer and Montechristo badgered him for it. Montechristo: "You're the only one who hasn't used my doll yet! what's wrong with you? Look at her, she's perfect! just like the real ones!" Lifer: "Nothing is wrong with me! real women are not just for sex." Montechristo: "And where am I supposed ot find an inflatabe doll that sews buttons?"
