This is a chain e-mail I received from work... wouldn't normally post this but it stemmed a mini-rant from myself to a workmate that may be of interest. WARNING: May not actually be of any interest whatsoever. ___________________________________________________ The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you if you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. (This question tested whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way) 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, Open the refrigerator, Put in the elephant, and close the door? Wrong answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, Put in the elephant and close the door. (This tested your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions) 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend....except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. (This tested your memory) Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, You still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage? Correct answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. (This tested whether you learn quickly from your mistakes) According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.
The conversation: Colleague : answer each question one at a time Ben: ok, for the first I go the barbaric route and kill the giraffe and chop it into tiny bits - I also get a large fridge Colleague: that is awful!!! Ben: but practical Colleague: but also wrong!! Ben: ok, for the second question I get an even bigger fridge and repeat the procedure Colleague: still wrong!!! Ben: bah - there is no wrong answer, both those I have given are perfectly feasible alternatives Ben: ok, 3 blindsided me completely and I got that wrong Ben: but on 4 I reckon you cross when the Lion King holds his conference - that or chuck the jumbo fridge in the river to stop the crocs Ben: which is basically what they say Colleague: I will let you have that one. (Another colleague) got two right Ben: I still maintain that all my answers were correct, with the exception of q3 Colleague: ok I will let you have three right Ben: I'm intelligently exploring alternate avenues and taking into consideration mitigating factors that would make the answers they suggest to be completely impossible under standard circumstance Ben: s Ben: I'm also typing intelligently! Colleague: in which case I would put it that you got them all wrong as you are so overcomplicating the whole thing now!! Ben: I think the writers of these questions need to know that the world isn't that simple. Maybe they've survived crossing roads so far by just walking across them but they'll regret not looking left and right one day...
God I hate these things. They usually leave me banging my head against the desk screaming "I KNEW THAT!!!!" This is one I got today, wasn't paying attention while doing it and failed miserably. __________________________ It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. OK, relax and clear your mind and begin. 1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4. 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land'? Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question. 5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London 17 people get on the bus; In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get onIn Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver? Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
The answer to question 3 is wrong. The question refers to a "green house" - 2 separate words. A green house is a house that is the colour green. A "greenhouse" - 1 word - is a building for growing plants. The two are not interchangeable. Also, I don't know if you can say that cows don't drink milk. Baby cows drink milk. That's the whole point of milk.
Ben, questions 1 and 2 have you assume that this is a normal sized refrigerator. Even with most walk-in type freezers/refrigerators, a giraffe would not fit all in one piece. Therefore, this is a specially made refrigerator and therefore the information given was not enough to make an educated assumption that the refrigerator was large enough for the animals to walk into. And even if it was large enough to hold a giraffe, then why is it not large enough to hold a giraffe and an elephant. If the rules are changing arbitrarily, then change my way, dammit. Anyway, I still got question 3 correct. The elephant was in the fridge, possibly with the giraffe. But since it said that only one animal was missing, the they either overlooked the giraffe, poor fellow, or he made a dramatic recovery. Question four was simple, use the bridge. It didn't say there wasn't one. It just said that you didn't have a boat. Who cares if the crocodiles are in the river or with the lion if you have a bridge to walk over.
Hehe well, I got the first two of Ben's question right, since I knew those questions since childhood. I failed the other two miserably. I failed all of Mazekins, including the one with cows and milk, even though I heard it a million times before. Oh, got the survivors right, since I know it from before. Other questions like Ben's that I remember from childhood are: 1) How do you know there's a mouse in the fridge? There's a motorcycle parked in front of it. (OK, this one is a no-win unless you know it from before) 2) How do you know there are two mice in the fridge? There are two helmets on the bike. (Most people say two bikes.) There's also a line of questions connecting to elephant and sneakers. 1) How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? He left his sneakers outside. 2) Why is the elephant swimming on his back? So he doesn't get his sneakers wet. Duh! 3) Why is he wearing red sneakers? So he can hide in the strawberries easier. (OK, who predicted THAT? The strawberries also work with red eyes.) 4) Why is he wearing blue sneakers? Because the red ones are dirty! Kids questions... trick you with someting completely unexpected, then hit you with an ordinary mundane verion of the same. 1) What is black, buzzing around and dangerous? A bumblebee with a machine gun. 2) What is black, buzzing around, and is not dangerous? A bumblebee that ran out of bullets. (I bet you said a bumblebee without a machine gun) God, we were weird kids....
The title of this thread scared the heebeejeebee's out of me, that wasn't much helped when I opened it and read it's contents, damn you benjamima. Also Ben it's people like you who keep these chain e-mails going so for that you are a FOOL my friend, a FOOL!
::evil grin:: Here's another one that supposedly stumped the grad students among the experimentees, but got answered right by kindergarten kids: "What's greater than God, more evil than the Devil, the rich want it, the poor have it, and if you eat it, you wil die?" Answer: nothing.
This whole thread is evil... I don't know if this supposedly intelligence or just creative dumbness... So hard to tell.
I was at a party and someone said this. I don't remember why, but I came out with "Rat Poison!" I must be the weirdest kid alive.
