Last night

You know how, sometimes, when something wakes you in the middle of the night, you home right in on it, all your senses alert?

I woke up suddenly at about 3am last night, to hear sounds of movement in the next room, the study. So I quietly sat up and grabbed the nearest item of clothing to put on. This woke Garner, who asked what was going on. I said, "There's someone in the study," and got out of bed. Trying to navigate our bedroom in the dark without making a noise is difficult, but I managed it.

When I got to the doorway, I looked into the study and saw, thank goodness, that no one was there. It was just the blind banging around in the wind and making a noise, as was the one halfway down the stairs. Then I realised that a big storm was starting, so I ran round the house closing all the windows to stop the rain getting in - and, conversely, opening one window where the rain leaks if it's closed, but bounces off it when it's open. By now, Garner was properly awake, and came to help.

When we got back to bed, I realised I had gone, fully expecting to confront a burglar, wearing only a tshirt and knickers, and with no weapon at all. I'm not quite sure what I expected to do - tell him to fuck off, I suppose. Garner suggested I was planning to strike him with the Hip of Dooooooooooooooooooom! This remark was immediately punctuated with a bright flash of lightning at the same moment as a very loud crack of thunder.

We were both impressed with the psychotropic weather. Garner said, "Now we are cooking with charcoal!" I failed to recognise the quote, despite having been thinking about the same passages of [i:359dff9faf]The Truth[/i:359dff9faf] myself. After identifying it, Garner had to explain that it's a twist on the phrase, "Now we're cooking with fire!", which I had never heard before. I had heard people say, "Now we're cooking!", but that's all.

I suggested that perhaps you had to be older than me to know the fuller phrase. Garner said, "I am older than you!"

I said, "So's Terry Pratchett."

Garner said, "So you have to do as I say!"

I said, "And Terry Pratchett?"

He said, "Yeah, but if he tells you to rob a bank, don't do that."

I said, "But if he says I can have all the money, should I take it?"

Garner: "Yeah, and then turn him in for the reward money."

I thought this would run too many risks for getting caught out and having [i:359dff9faf]all[/i:359dff9faf] the money taken away again. So I suggested refusing to rob the bank or take the money, but then turning him in for the reward.

Me: "That way, you'd be guaranteed at least one of the lots of money."

Garner: "Yeah, that's the way to go."

Me: "Also, that would be the moral thing to do, I suppose."

Garner: "Yeah, that too."

After lots of thunder and lightning, it then continued to rain very hard. Evidently, Katcal had been working on sending us a storm!

Garner and I have inane conversations in the middle of the night, and I still can't believe how stupid I was about going to fight a non-existent burglar armed only with the Hip of Doom. Also, becoming a Garner means posting rambling threads about minor incidents from your personal life.

This whole post had me laughing. And the thunderstorm is just arriving here. How it did that I don't know, because it surely isn't the straight route from Hastings.

Right now, though, it's just k´like sitting in a car that stood in the heat. I can already hear it, but right now, all the hot humid air it's pushing in front of the storm itself rolls over the city.

[quote:7a35afe570="chrisjordan"]My maths teacher used, 'Now we're cooking with gas!'

...[/quote:7a35afe570]That is the phrase Terry is paraphrasing in '...cooking with charcoal'.

I only have a two button mouse, although I'm sure it would be effective for a whirling attack.

I like the razor sharp wit idea, though!

Like my nose.

not to mention it goes off into some pointless rant about how the internet's going to destroy language, thus ruining the last 20% or so of the book.

anyway, frenchie, i think we were *thanking* you for that thunderstorm. it's been too damn hot here lately.

Grace rocks more that a fat whore in a camper van!

Katcal, it was a reference to a remark I made in the 'I hate summer' thread.