Discussion in 'BOARDANIA' started by Silverfox, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. Silverfox New Member

    We are having our village show tomorrow, there is a line up of all the usual suspects flowers, vegetables and handicrafts but we also have a limerick competition the following are the set 1st lines.

    They've resurrected the old Doctor Who

    An elderly racehorse called Punch (refers to Persian Punch who was trained locally)

    It's England versus Oz for the Ashes

    I have written my entries so I'm not looking for assistance, just wondering what you might have come up with :)
  2. fudgecake New Member

    Only one of those beginnings actually fits the rhythm... :oops:
  3. Silverfox New Member

    I didn't make em up, I'm just one of many who has to work with them :roll:
  4. OmKranti Yogi Wench

    Yeah, fudgecake is right.

    'An elderly racehorse called Punch' is the only one that fits the....dealie (gah, whats it called with the poem timing thingiy) tempo maybe? Well, whatever its called.

    The pace of a limerick should go something like this:

    Once was a young man on a dare
    Who made love to a maid on the stair
    As the bannister broke
    He doubled his stroke
    And finished her off in mid-air.

    I think it's supposed to be 3 beats twice, 2 beats twice and them 3 beats.
  5. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    You gonna post your limerks silverfox?
  6. Cynical_Youth New Member

    Meter. :)

    Edit: tried to fix quote thingy
  7. OmKranti Yogi Wench

    Yes! Thank you CY. Rock on!
  8. fudgecake New Member

    My favourite limerick is -

    There once was a man from Japan,
    Whose limericks never would scan.
    When asked why this was,
    He said "It's because
    I can never seem to make the last line fit in with the rest of the limerick."
  9. OmKranti Yogi Wench

    My favorite limerick I can't put up here because there might be children reading the boards.
  10. fudgecake New Member

    lol! Darn. Now I'm going to be curious again... :? I have to know these things! :p
  11. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    My favourite is one my mother wrote.

    There was an old man of Thermopolae
    Who never did anything properly.
    He tried to make soap,
    But found that the Pope
    Had already got the monopoly.
  12. OmKranti Yogi Wench

    I like that one Grace, sounds like something my mother would quote.

    My dad used to say this one:

    There was an old man from Lyme
    Who married 3 wives at a time
    His friends asked why third?
    He said, one is absurd
    And two dear sir, is a crime.
  13. chrispenycate New Member

    There WAS an old FELlow from LYME
    who MARried three WIVES at a TIME
    His freinds ASK'D why the THIRD?
    He rePLIED "one's abSURD,
    And BIgamy, SIR, is a CRIME"

    otherwise it doesn't scan. Femine rhymes are accepted for first, second and fifth lines, (the book says "three feet, one iamb and two anapests", but if you understand that you don't need to read this). On the other hand, the "waltz time" effect is importantfor the flow, and is indeed missing from two of the suggested first lines.
    Ooh, I am pedantic, aren't I? :)
  14. McLaren New Member

    There was a boy in my class
    who's balls were made out of brass
    in windy weather
    they clanged together
    and sparks flew out of his ass

    I read it on a toilet door.
  15. sampanna New Member

    Well, if we are swapping dirty limericks off toilet walls :p ..

    Here I lie in stinky vapour
    Because some bastard stole the toilet paper
    Shall I lie, shall I linger
    Or will I be forced to use the finger?
  16. danny New Member

    What? Dirty limericks, and no mention of the old lady from Nantucket? And all the fun things she did with her old rusty bucket? Like when she let a big fart that blew it apart? Oh well, then just @#*&-it.

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