We are having our village show tomorrow, there is a line up of all the usual suspects flowers, vegetables and handicrafts but we also have a limerick competition the following are the set 1st lines. They've resurrected the old Doctor Who An elderly racehorse called Punch (refers to Persian Punch who was trained locally) It's England versus Oz for the Ashes I have written my entries so I'm not looking for assistance, just wondering what you might have come up with
Yeah, fudgecake is right. 'An elderly racehorse called Punch' is the only one that fits the....dealie (gah, whats it called with the poem timing thingiy) tempo maybe? Well, whatever its called. The pace of a limerick should go something like this: Once was a young man on a dare Who made love to a maid on the stair As the bannister broke He doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air. I think it's supposed to be 3 beats twice, 2 beats twice and them 3 beats.
My favourite limerick is - There once was a man from Japan, Whose limericks never would scan. When asked why this was, He said "It's because I can never seem to make the last line fit in with the rest of the limerick."
My favourite is one my mother wrote. There was an old man of Thermopolae Who never did anything properly. He tried to make soap, But found that the Pope Had already got the monopoly.
I like that one Grace, sounds like something my mother would quote. My dad used to say this one: There was an old man from Lyme Who married 3 wives at a time His friends asked why third? He said, one is absurd And two dear sir, is a crime.
There WAS an old FELlow from LYME who MARried three WIVES at a TIME His freinds ASK'D why the THIRD? He rePLIED "one's abSURD, And BIgamy, SIR, is a CRIME" otherwise it doesn't scan. Femine rhymes are accepted for first, second and fifth lines, (the book says "three feet, one iamb and two anapests", but if you understand that you don't need to read this). On the other hand, the "waltz time" effect is importantfor the flow, and is indeed missing from two of the suggested first lines. Ooh, I am pedantic, aren't I?
There was a boy in my class who's balls were made out of brass in windy weather they clanged together and sparks flew out of his ass I read it on a toilet door.
Well, if we are swapping dirty limericks off toilet walls .. Here I lie in stinky vapour Because some bastard stole the toilet paper Shall I lie, shall I linger Or will I be forced to use the finger?
What? Dirty limericks, and no mention of the old lady from Nantucket? And all the fun things she did with her old rusty bucket? Like when she let a big fart that blew it apart? Oh well, then just @#*&-it.
