Instead of doing work I've spend the day looking first at Wikipeada, which is great- possibly god as it knows everything. Then Uncylopedia which is comic gold. I've then found UnNews http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:Media_outlets_receive_chilling_hurricane_threat_tape Which i though could be used to play a humours, and about all time wasting game. The point of the game is to find a news story and re-write it as an UnNews story. Here is a story to start you off, though you can find your own. You only have to have the same headline. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4335628.stm
[b:f2ba2592e2]Venus: Earth's Evil Twin[/b:f2ba2592e2] Shocking revelations that Earth has a long lost twin were revealed today. His mother, Sol, was in tears as she recounted the tale, "When I first heard I was pregnant I was naturally ecstatic. Later when it was revealed that I had twins I was doubly so, until I gave birth to them that was. "My first one, Earth, was such a jolly baby, with a lovely atmosphere around him and he was a joy to behold. The second though, Venus, was a right bitch. She came out screaming with a poisonous tongue and immediately started pushing Earth away from me. "She was so venomous, full of acid and poison. I had no choice but to scald her and push her away in the opposite direction to the rest of my children. "I've been in denial for so long, but I couldn't hold the truth back any longer. Earth has a right to know that Venus is actually his twin sister. I wouldn't want him to be attracted to her like in that Star Wars film." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Do I suggest a story for the next person? [u:f2ba2592e2]If so...[/u:f2ba2592e2]
Yes, I like the idea of the writer of the last suggesting the next... [b:895271b440]Go-ahead for live liver donations [/b:895271b440] The BBC have given the Go-Ahead for the 'Liver Donations' in this years 'Children in Need'. BBC commissioner Mark Flipopdfishfish said 'We thought this year we'd open up the appeal, the livers will either be sold on the Russian black market are fashioned into 'Organic' hats for termanly ill children. Katie Price, wife of austrialian pop dwarf Peter Andre, is listed as one of the stars of the Children In Need Show 'Celebratey Liver Swap' which is due to take place on the night. Liver can be donated live on the show or over phone pledges. Contact WWW.LIVER4KIDS.COM to order for charity organ transport Ice Box. Here:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4413728.stm
[size=9:aed0e1e635][b:aed0e1e635]Burma confirms capital to move[/b:aed0e1e635] [/size:aed0e1e635] The capital of Burma, Rangoon (39), was today being readied for a move to the heart of the jungle. Scores of Mahouts arrived with their elephants shortly before dawn and began chaining the pachyderms to government buildings. We are going to drag these buildings to their lovely new locations, said a mahout spokesman Avan Alarff as he encouraged his beast forward with a tasty bunch of bananas. An earlier scheme to move the capital in one single operation failed when the search for an extremely large turtle was unsuccsessful Meanwhile... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/4319500.stm No I don't understand it either!!
[b:3acd91a505]Crunch time for Dominica's banana business[/b:3acd91a505] In a controversial move, the Dominicans many banana 'tally men' are refusing to 'tally me banana' stating that daylight has come and they want to return to thier abodes. This has left the arduous job of tallying the bananas to the Dominican women. It is hard for the women to tally the bananas as some of them [the banana stacks] are 6 foot, 7 foot and even 8 foot bunches. Plus there are many deadly taranchulas that have to be watched for. One only can hope that the Dominican 'tally men' will have a good rest and be back to work soon. Edit: oops I forgot to give a new headline. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9956644/[/url]
[b:efeca5fb88]Bush: ‘We do not torture’ terror suspects[/b:efeca5fb88] Bush has today declined that terror suspects are tortured, "I've never seen it happen, so it can't have happened. The only things that happen are things that I can see." Rumours that this is a publicity stunt for the recluse singer's new album are also strongly denied, but if you wish to buy it, Aerial by Kate Bush was released today. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [u:efeca5fb88]Next story[/u:efeca5fb88]
ah come on, someone must be able to make up a story from a headline like "Mourinho rules out Blues hangover", it could be any Mourinho you like! It could be any Blues you like! It could be any hangover you like!
[b:0fd0a3bae3][size=12:0fd0a3bae3]Mourinho rules out Blues hangover[/size:0fd0a3bae3][/b:0fd0a3bae3] Chelsea Manager Jose Mourinho yesterday ruled out the possibility of a hangover, despite being spotted drowning his sorrows following the 2-0 defeat by Manchester United. He gave the following quote to our sports correspondent Ron Knee : "Listen - I am not just a manager. I am the special one. I am drinking the special brew. I will not be having the hangover, this I know because the special voices I am hearing after I drink the special brew are telling me so. The jealous, voyeuristic managers of the other teams will be the ones with the hangovers, they are not having the quality brew like me, they are only having the Tesco lager, but this is not not for me, because I am special" Next Story
[b:4a1a91e33e]French government approves curfews[/b:4a1a91e33e] President Jaque Chiraq has agreed to implement curfews in an effort to decrease violence on the streets of France. He is quoted as saying: "We'll do anything to get the fucking French out of the way so they'll stop spitting in my general direction and accusing my mother of being a hamster and my father of smelling of elderberries. Anything is better than that."
Bugger... That'll teach me to post after 1am... OK [b:f3e55d8f99]Not thrilled about Jesus Juice[/b:f3e55d8f99]
[b:38ee9be252]Not thrilled about Jesus Juice[/b:38ee9be252] Religio-animal rights group are in outrage over the new 'Jesus Juice'. They claim that 'the milking of the Son of God for comersal gain in completely unethical.' The makers of the Drink that also sell 'Buddha Booze' and 'Hindu Ham' say that no religous icon are harmed in the making of the product. God was unavailable to comment. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4420878.stm
[size=12:d492cf4536][b:d492cf4536] MP's call to withdraw Hitler poem[/b:d492cf4536][/size:d492cf4536] Junior arts minister Tristram Luvvie today called for the withdrawal of an ode about Adolf Hitler from a new CD, due for release next week. The CD - [i:d492cf4536]Your Member Can Sing![/i:d492cf4536] contains tracks sung by various MPs Mr Luvvie took exception to the contribution from Sir Bufton Tufton (84) who sang a version of a well known poem about Adolf Hitler. "This sort of thing is completely unacceptable" said the minister "In addition to being an insult to our German partners in the EU, it is inaccurate, physiologically speaking. It is a complete fallacy to imply that the late Reichschancellor was testicularly challenged" In response, Sir Bufton chortled "Ha! Balderdash! Himmler was something similar y'know!!" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4420760.stm Edited to add - sorry about the x-post E_M. Maybe responders could reserve their place with an "I'll do this" post which they can then edit with no fear that their work will be too late??
[b:c4d9fb12f2] MP's call to withdraw Hitler poem[/b:c4d9fb12f2] A recently discovered poem "Ode to a swastika" by the famous war-mongerer Adolf Hitler has provoked outrage among Labour MPs due to it's line, [quote:c4d9fb12f2]Ich habe die Nazis gefunden, Tony Blair ist meine Hundin.[/quote:c4d9fb12f2] as they feel that it is disrespectful to their glorious leader. They have now tabled a motion to withdraw the poem from all human memory. Eagle-eyed Conservative MPs have also noticed that Labour have bundled the Iraq War to be removed also. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Gah, stupid crossposting! I'll conjour a reply to Sleepy_Sarge's, next person can follow my link. And here it is: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [b:c4d9fb12f2]Tory candidates disagree on pants[/b:c4d9fb12f2] The latest debate between the two prospective leaders of the Tory descended into farce when they got into an argument about the parties range of underwear. The Tory party are releasing "True Blue" underwear before the next election to raise funds for the campaign. They currently plan to offer them in colours ranging from Cyan to Navy, but David Cameron suggested that they expand it to include Aqua. David Davis disagreed, "Aqua is clearly erring on the Green side, which is not the message we need to promote! The Conservative party is not obsessed with the environment!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4421866.stm
[b:93825bd528]Weah behind in Liberian run-off [/b:93825bd528] Conservationists are today outraged that weah (pronaounced wee) is happening after the water has been run-off the nation of Liberia. THe spokesman for the group 'Weah out of Africa', Sir Brice Dixalot, said yesterday "how dare they keep the weah in Africa, this is a great nation and the weah deserves to be flushed out of the country with all of the other shit we export". The crux of the orgument seems to be that Africa doesn't need any more weah and the feeling is that the weah should have Here
Don't have an original one of my own, as my brain is fried at the moment, but I foundthis to keep you happily amused nontheless. Now, someone mail me a cartload of aspirins. edit: Couldn't make link more apparent. My brain is truly deep fried at the moment.
