Windup... and the pitch!

Roman K says (5:36 PM):
I've found out that a low STR, ranged combat specialist should never go to anywhere potentially dangerous.
Roman K says (5:36 PM):
My urban ranger's been overrun by bloody spiders.
Roman K says (5:36 PM):
Tiny spiders.
Roman K says (5:36 PM):
First round, I lose 3 STR.
Roman K says (5:37 PM):
These buggers have 4 HP each - with 1d6-1, my shortsword stab attempts aren't working out as scheduled.
Roman K says (5:37 PM):
The barbarian, of course, simply cuts them in two at every swing.
Garner says (5:39 PM):
tell your GM to use a swarm rather than individual spiders, and use a torch for its fire damage.
Roman K says (5:39 PM):
...I bought a sunrod.
Garner says (5:39 PM):
and what have we learned from this, mr clever?
Roman K says (5:39 PM):
That expensive is not necessarily useful.
Garner says (5:40 PM):
the only one shot spell replica worth buying is a tanglefoot bag.
Garner says (5:40 PM):
otherwise save your money for potions
Roman K says (5:40 PM):
I give it to starving orphans instead.
Garner says (5:40 PM):
retard. you're not a paladin you're a ranger.
Garner says (5:40 PM):
unless your bow is named starving orphans
Roman K says (5:41 PM):
Hell, man, we bloody freed them from the people exploiting them.
Roman K says (5:41 PM):
It was either that or let them run out into the streets.
Roman K says (5:42 PM):
So I got a good Diplomacy check to convince them we're not bad people, a good Knowledge [Local] roll to remember where a good orphanage is located in the city, and then I gave them 25gp to give to the woman running the orphanage.
Garner says (5:43 PM):
...
Garner says (5:43 PM):
...
Garner says (5:43 PM):
your character's low int, i take it?
Roman K says (5:43 PM):
High INT, high WIS.
Garner says (5:43 PM):
*smacks*
Garner says (5:43 PM):
you give the money to the people running it, not the kids
Garner says (5:43 PM):
you give them FIVE gold, not twenty five
Garner says (5:44 PM):
sustenience living for a peasant family is one silver a month.
Roman K says (5:44 PM):
Giving money to the adult would have meant personally leading them to said adult, rather than giving directions.
Garner says (5:44 PM):
...
Roman K says (5:44 PM):
And we're not done in the fishery yet.
Garner says (5:44 PM):
you let unescorted kids wander on their own with a small fortune in gold?
Garner says (5:44 PM):
you're playing an evil ranger, aren't you
Roman K says (5:44 PM):
Three blocks.
Roman K says (5:45 PM):
That's all they need to cross.
Garner says (5:45 PM):
three blocks in an area that's known to house acriminal organization?
Roman K says (5:45 PM):
No, it's actually a rather peaceful street.
Garner says (5:45 PM):
yeah, because the mob boss kept it that way. now that you're creating a power vacum, what do you expect's gonna happen
Roman K says (5:45 PM):
The supposedly abandoned fishery is anomalous to it.
Roman K says (5:45 PM):
Clay...
Roman K says (5:46 PM):
...this "mob boss" lived off these kids.
Roman K says (5:46 PM):
He forced them to become street pickpockets for him, then fed those who grew too old or unruly to his pet alligator.
Garner says (5:46 PM):
exactly, he was all that was keeping them safe! now you've turned them loose with enough shiney moneys to tempt a typical priest into murder
Garner says (5:46 PM):
oh dear god
Garner says (5:47 PM):
so, as pickpockets, they've made ENEMIES in the area?
Garner says (5:47 PM):
and you let them go unescorted??
Garner says (5:47 PM):
for shame
Garner says (5:47 PM):
for very shame.
Roman K says (5:47 PM):
We're KILLING their enemies, fool.
Roman K says (5:47 PM):
In fact, they have a grand total of one left now.
Garner says (5:47 PM):
wait,
Roman K says (5:47 PM):
And the orphanage has a very good reputation.
Garner says (5:48 PM):
you're killing the victims of the pickpocketings? how the fuck is that doing good? that proves you're evil.
Garner says (5:48 PM):
evil like belkar.
Roman K says (5:48 PM):
...
Roman K says (5:48 PM):
Clay...
Roman K says (5:48 PM):
The victims are just ordinary citizens. They don't count.
Roman K says (5:48 PM):
I'm talking about enemies that actually *matter*.
Garner says (5:48 PM):
you said you were killing ther enemies, after i said they made enemies by pickpocketing. it doesn't take a genius to see what you meant.
Roman K says (5:48 PM):
Bah.
Roman K says (5:48 PM):
I was thinking along the lines of criminal competetion.
Roman K says (5:49 PM):
Which they didn't have, operating in the worst possible area for them.
Garner says (5:49 PM):
what, rival gangs of pickpoketing orphans? trained into elite, battle-orphan status by threats of sewer crocodiles?
Roman K says (5:49 PM):
Oh dear.
Garner says (5:49 PM):
you sent these kids out with a ton of gold, to face rival, hardened gangs?
Garner says (5:49 PM):
why didn't you just hire a goddamn assassain
Roman K says (5:50 PM):
Indeed, why not. My Favored Enemy is the local underground Assassin's Guild, so I might have convinced them to work for free.
Garner says (5:50 PM):
... you picked an organization as your favoured enemy?
Roman K says (5:50 PM):
But of course.
Garner says (5:50 PM):
and you're playing a high int, high wis character?
Roman K says (5:51 PM):
Yes, dammit.
Garner says (5:51 PM):
how big an experience point penalty has your GM given you for bad role playing?
Roman K says (5:51 PM):
I hate you.
Garner says (5:51 PM):
then my victory is complete.

Which sums up your usual dialogues. :wink:

no, the usual summary would be:

Roman: (geeky enthusiasm about something nerdy)
Garner: (disinterested taunting giving way to interested taunting)
Roman: (foolish engagement of wind-up commercial ventures)
Garner: (eventual subject change)
Roman: (wholehearted embrace of subject change)
Garner: (arguement)
Roman: (arguement)
Garner: (leaves room without telling roman)
Roman: (continued arguement)
Roman: (continued arguement)
Roman: (continued arguement)
Roman: (statement to the effect of gap in mobile coverage and request for any missed statements to be repeated)
Roman: (gradual realization that garner is no longer participating in arguement)
Garner: (claiming of victory)
Roman: (expression of hatred)
Garner: (iteration of victory)

Well, the end was standard then.

look, if you couldn't be bothered to obsessively collect anything remotely interesting in the way of video games over the past 20 years, then you don't get to enjoy having a collection of several thousand games you've never played.

all those wonderful opportunities for entertainment - and so long as i never play them, i'll never find out how crap they were.

incidentally - Final Frontier mod for Civ IV.

just what I was looking for.