Gorilla Vs Bear?

Discussion in 'BOARDANIA' started by Rincewind, Aug 18, 2005.

  1. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    Oh my God! I thought I was the only one, except for my sisters! I still have a few of them, and plan to restock my collection. I'm pretty sure you can still get hold of them.
  2. drunkymonkey New Member

    Gorilla, because they are bigger and badder version of a monkey.
  3. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    I do like that line of reasoning.
  4. drunkymonkey New Member

    You do know you have spelt lovely wrong in your sig?

    and look at King Kong, he beat a T Rex (who would win in real life, but that's not the point.)

    Edit: ending the brackets.
  5. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Yeah. I like the sound of Loverly more. I think it has more 'love' than lovely.
  6. drunkymonkey New Member

    I suppose you are right, let's go to Oxford, hold the head word picker at hostage and threaten to introduce him to a new way of using a cheese grater if he doesn't change it to loverly.
    oh, and we might as well get him to put pwned in the dictionary too.

    edit: fixed my awful spelling
  7. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    I bet it won't be long before net speak is in the dictionary, they have 'chav' in it. :roll:
  8. drunkymonkey New Member

    and viewrinal (a urinal with a video advertisement on it).

    it'll have haxxor, lol, roflcopter, AWP and the rest in soon enough.
  9. Roman_K New Member

    At which point I will begin ignoring them, just like I'm ignoring the local newspapers.
  10. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Not curious as to what the little -ahem- so and so's are on about?

    I hate to admit it but I did have to look up wikipedia to find out what on earth the l33t thing in the FAQ was about

    *hopes that the mere mention of the word dosn't earn him a thunderbolt*
  11. drunkymonkey New Member

  12. OmKranti Yogi Wench

    It's "Thunderspork" in these parts, Sleepy.

    Edit for UBB crap.
  13. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Ohh ok - thanks! Now I will know what has smitten (smote?) me :shock:
  14. Roman_K New Member

    The Internet is enough. The papers are crap, I fear. Truly crap.
  15. fudgecake New Member

    What does "pwned" mean? I seem to see it everywhere and I'm totally clueless. :lol:
  16. drunkymonkey New Member

    means when you beat someone at something.
    owned means the same.
  17. Ba Lord of the Pies

    This is why people shouldn't trust their e-mails. This is even worse than the last time Ba saw this story.

    There was a bear, and those are actual pictures. But there are a number of misstatements about it. First of all, Ted Winnen, the man who shot the bear, was an airman with the US Air Force, not someone with the forestry service. Second, the bear was large, but not record-setting. It was about 10'6 from nose to tail, and estimated at 1,000 to 1,200 pounds. The bear was not actually charging them. According to Mr. Winnen, the bear might not even have been aware of his presence. Mr. Winnen used a .338 winchester magnum, not a "7mm Magnum semi-automatic rifle." And finally, the bear wasn't found with undigested human remains. There may or may not be a picture showing human remains included with the pictures Tymara has. However, this picture was added to the story in 2003, two years after the bear was shot.
  18. fudgecake New Member

    Thank ye. :D
  19. drunkymonkey New Member

    np problem.
  20. Garner Great God and Founding Father

    so... no Dire Bear?
  21. Ba Lord of the Pies

    Of course not. A couple of level three hunters up against a CR 7 monster? Preposterous.
  22. TamyraMcG Active Member

    Thanks for setting the record straight, Ba, although what you had to say actually makes me a little more unsettled. My nephew is in the Air Force, stationed in Alaska and the first thing he was going to spend his overseas pay on was a big game rifle. I hope he won't be going out too far in the field. He shouldn't have to, Mom took a picture of a moose in his backyard. He'll probably need the gun to keep critters out of his house.

    I checked out the Boone and Crockett site, they didn't have that bear listed as the world record. It scored nearly 2 points less then the one that is in the Los Angeles Museum.
  23. spiky Bar Wench

    Thanks Buzz. Its nice to know someone knows that... If a koala went up against a gorilla the Koala would simply roll up one of those eucalyptus joints, that get them so stoned, hand it to the gorilla and they'd sit around giggling and eating corn chips... Not a fair fight and I'd think you'd probably say the koala one by bring the gorilla over to its side of the force man...

    If you actually do get a proper bear and put it against a gorilla I'd say the gorilla wins. I have no good reason for this except that the scientific name for gorilla is gorilla gorilla gorilla. If you need to be reminded 3 times what species you are your probably going to be pretty pissed...
  24. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    What are the stats for the biggest bear then? I asked Ba, but he didn't know.

    I wanted to play an Awakened brown bear in our next D&D campaign, but Garner thinks it would be unworkable unless we started at about level 6. :( And he said I wouldn't be able to get my armour on without help. But Philip Pullman's bears could do it!
  25. Pepster New Member


    Gorilla all the way against a grizzley, but if its a dropbear who knows :rolleyes:
  26. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    But was the bear still shot like 12 times before it died?
  27. TamyraMcG Active Member

    I googled for world record grizzly bear, the first on the list was purported to be the true story of the bear in the email my friend passed on to me. they had other places that had the term "urban legend" in them and also a link to Boone and Crockett. The Boone and Crockett test scores are based on measuring the length and width of the skull. They don't have height or weight listed.

    There is a photo of the world record brown bear, which is what the bear in the email was. Brown bears are a subspecies of grizzly, the actual grizzly bears had Boone and Crockett scores a little lower then that bear but one of them was "picked up"not hunted. It is possible to search all their records but it costs money($50.00 for a years membership) and I am not that interested.
  28. QuothTheRaven New Member

    Yes they could.
  29. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    Ah well. Thanks for trying, Tamyra!

    Rinso, can't you make your colleagues do a TV show that would tell me about the biggest brown bear ever?
  30. Ba Lord of the Pies

    No, no, Tamyra. Grizzlies are a subspecies of brown bears, not the other way around. Brown bears, or bruins, occur in North America, Europe, and across Asia. Grizzlies are simply the most common of the North American species.
  31. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    I can't think of a reason why not, it could be called 'Answer Grace Garner Bear related height question?' It could be on BBC 92 at 3.14 AM.
  32. drunkymonkey New Member

    Sounds like a great idea, or how about making a tv show called 'Big Bear'? Stick seven bears in a house, give them porridge and other bear...necessities and watch them do things that bears do, all on reality tv!
  33. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    I'd rather watch BEAR ATTACK, and watch Bears fight a number of oppants, ranging from Gorzillas, ninjas, pirates and small children with strange blonde hair and mind powers.
  34. Garner Great God and Founding Father

    a new show on FOX: When Bears Attack!

    followed next month by When Bears Attack picnicers!

    followed again by When Bears Attack hikers!

    followed agian by When Bears Fall out of Trees onto Trampolines!

    followed again by When stupid people get bit.
  35. TamyraMcG Active Member

    Did you know that bears don't really sound like they do in most movies and television shows, all that roaring is dubbed in. I think they actually sound more like a pig most of the time, snuffling, snorting and grunting.

    They count on territorial markings to alert other bears to their presence, not their voices, they are more like gorillas then most people realise. Its just that they do occupy an ecological niche too close to our own, that has gotten them such a bad name.

    That and the ability to break a person's back with one swipe, run faster and climb higher and faster then any human. Just because they almost never do that stuff doesn't mean they won't if they have to.
  36. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    What do you have against my child self?!?
  37. Perdita New Member

    Or me?

    and my twin.

    We deffinately were two spooky blond children.
  38. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Becuase you have evil pyhsic powers! and you probably have scary posh accents and glowy eyes, and you use to powers to stabb helpless farmers in there stomach with pitch forks.

    Twins are even worse. Evil twins that skipp around an speak at the same time in a eery way.
  39. Electric_Man Templar

    I had strange blonde hair, but no mind powers unfortunately. If i had, I would've made the bears eat you
  40. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Nah. Bears don't obey weasels no matter how blond there hair (coat) is.
  41. fairyliquid New Member

    do you think they take a bear into a recording studio and poke it? :shock:

    no, maybe not :(
  42. drunkymonkey New Member

    Well, Weasals are actually quite intelligent aren't they? I mean, if a weasal asked me to follow it, I would.
  43. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Then more fool you, everyone knows not to trust a weasel.
  44. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Do bears know this? How many weasels do you think to sneakily defeat the bear?
  45. drunkymonkey New Member

    Yes, but then I would overpower the weasal and take power!
  46. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    I think a weasel in a waistcoat wearing a top hat could probably trick a bear.
  47. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Clever. But what actually happens when you take power from a weasel?

    I suppose, if he was wearing one, you could steal his tophat. Or something.
  48. drunkymonkey New Member

    Well, obviously it would have taken over the world (or Rotheram, it's a good base for World Domination), and so I would take power in the Weasal's absense.
    and I'd take the top hat too.
  49. Rincewind Number One Doorman


    A good plan. Novel Hat and world domination. what more could you want.
  50. Tephlon Active Member


    Although World Domination would probably give you plenty of chocolate...

    The Moon!
  51. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Take my hat? Take my hat?
    That would not do at all
    I need this top hat or the bear will not fall
    So you can't rule from Rotherham, or places like that
    So you can't rule the world
    Said the weasel in the hat.
  52. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    crafty rhyming Weasels. I said you cant trust them.
  53. Rincewind Number One Doorman


  54. drunkymonkey New Member

    it's an excellent plan, and I'm goingt o see if it works.
  55. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Well according to the rhyme it failed.
  56. drunkymonkey New Member

    bah, the rhyme is weasal propaganda, it's made to make you fail, but strong people can see outside the box, and they can overcome their difficulties!
  57. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Now you're beginning to sound alarmingly like these guys http://www.tilda.edu-negev.gov.il/nit/p&brain1.gif
  58. Cynical_Youth New Member

    Ooh, can I be Pinky?
  59. drunkymonkey New Member

    evil beings.
  60. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Thier pinky,thier pinky, thier pinky and Brain, Brain, Brain, one is genius, the other is insane

    Is that how is goes?

    can you read this? you all smell.

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