Om that sucks like hell... **hugs** But I'll second everyone here, breaking up by mail is just lousy, and proves you're worth much better than someone like that...
[quote:6a8e7f1acf="Garner"]can i have a half hour to beat the pompous out of him after they get done?[/quote:6a8e7f1acf] Now there's a thought: "BeatTheShitOutOfTheMasterBastardWhoHurtOmCon" - where could we hold it so that we could all get there? And how would we control the queue? Seriously, Om - at this stage, it always hurts, but you have friends - we are here to support you.
[quote:040dc0563f="Garner"]can i have a half hour to beat the pompous out of him after they get done?[/quote:040dc0563f] heh, I kinda thought you would think he was pompous. ahh well. he thought you were quite too.
yes, yes, let's measure the relative pomposity though, shall we? Garner: one of the most formative members of the community that resutled in doormencons. Barnaby: not even a member of the community. In past doormencons, there've been complaints that garner's inability to sit still or stay put results in everyone just walking all over fucking london trying to find another starbucks. as a result, garner has learned to sit still and relatively quietly. Barnaby not only chose where we should head next, but then tried to prove he was the best londoner and lead the way there - only he went the wrong way and then finally let monkey take the lead, as is monkey's rightful place in a doormancon. i maintain that my behavior is merely that of a pompous *jerk*, while barnaby is CLEARLY a pompous ass.
[quote:16577f71c7="Garner"]i maintain that my behavior is merely that of a pompous *jerk*, while barnaby is CLEARLY a pompous ass.[/quote:16577f71c7] I think that says it all, really
Ok, so he texted me on Saturday "do you hate me?" (This is a manipulative question, there is no right way to answer a question like that) I replied: "I am not ready to talk to you" Simple, to the point. I thought he would respect that, but noooo. He texts me back. "I miss you and made a terrible mistake. I am sorry and want to make it rightif I can. I got totally and irrationally scared. And need your forgiveness, if that is possible" Humm..no I love you, no yoou mean the world to me...just selfish 'I feel bad' stuff. ok...then 10 minutes later another text: "I forgot to add - I love you (But I am also impatient! Do you know when you can talk or give me any indication ofwheter I have totally blown this I am running out of nails) I miss you. ok, so more selfishness. So I tink about it and make a little list of things I want to say and I bullet point them and I say a prayer and give him a call. (this is now about 24 hours since he sent me the texts) Because also, I have enough balls to pick up the damn phone and call him. SO it starts out well, I tell him all the things I want to say, tell him he blew it and it's over. He askes if he can at least state his case. I say yes, he says to give him untill that night and he would send me an email. ( What is with this crap?) So I get the email last night, and it really is full of good points about why we should be together and make this work. But there is something not right. I really think that he believes he knows what he wants, but I don't think he's capable of being the person he wants to be. I think he wants me to fix him and make him happy. I have not replied yet. I don't know what to say. I don't want to believe it's over, but inside me I know it is. This sucks. Any suggestions?
Follow your fuckin heart, man. You know its over. It's sad that it has to be that way, but fuck it. you're crazy enough for one as it is. actually, if we're going to be brutally honest here, you're crazy enough for a volkswagon engineering plant full of midgets (that's a whole lotta midgets!) if you know ways he can fix himself, you could give him those suggestions, but only on the terms that he use the new improved him to be a better person to the next woman he meets, cause he aint gonna get another shot at you for at least six or seven reincarnation cycles.
You deserve someone who makes you genuinely happy. You have said that he did make you happy in the past. Now it depends on whether you feel he can make you happy again, or that you will just smile and nod politely when you are together. Do you still think you can have a happy everyday life together? Or not? What are the things in this, or any relationship that you can compromise with or flat out reject?
Hey Om **HUGS** You know deep down in your heart of hearts if he can dump you by mail and not even have the balls to call to say to your face he needs to be forgiven, he is not the right one for you. I spent 11 years with a man fooling myself he was the best i was gonna get and that he would change. Don't fool yourself, leopards will NOT change their spots. Honey, i know you have self respect and wont let him wriggle out of this. You are in my thoughts.
Om - My heart goes out to you. I was once dumped by email, so I know just how crappy it makes you feel. That really bites the bag... I can't offer advice though - only my sympathy and as many vHugs as are possible It does sound like he wasn't the OmOne though There will be someone special - who will be all the more special after this episode
Om, if you believe it's over, it's not right to restart it on a basis of dishonesty. Only restart the relationship if you genuinely think it can work healthily this time, with the two of you on an equal footing. You're bright enough and you've done enough emotional work with yourself not to give in to narrativium's power of kitchen sink tragedy.
[quote:2dbb03c11d="Buzzfloyd"]You're bright enough and you've done enough emotional work with yourself not to give in to narrativium's power of kitchen sink tragedy.[/quote:2dbb03c11d] What what?
Narrativium - the Discworld element that controls the power of story, used by Lili Weatherwax to force people's lives to bend into the stories she wanted them to be, in Witches Abroad. It took a powerful witch like Granny to break the power of story and choose her own course. I'm suggesting you're strong-minded enough to avoid having your life bent into the story of a kitchen sink drama against your will.
Thank you guys. We are tentatively talking right now. He has promised to go get councilling and show me a copy of his divorce decree. I still haven't made up my mind on whether this is really going to work. But I guess time will tell.
well bathe him and then marry him. look, he can't be worse than pompous ass man. barney or whatever his name was.
now, see, that just confuses me. *he* said he was single, why should you feel like an idiot because he's a lying pompous bastard?
That's true. It really is. Print it out and hang it over your bed. And as I said in the mail, give us his email adress.
Aw, Om. You have no reason to feel stupid, like Garner said. He lied to you, and now he's lost you. He should be the one feeling bloody stupid. >hugs<
[quote:47441f996d="OmKranti"]But...but...Rinso smells funny. [/quote:47441f996d] Thats the smell of Love, Om! And right now I'm wofting a load of it in your direction. (Any similarties between the smell of Love and the smell of Urine, is purely chance)
[quote:757cb3c9c2="Rincewind"][quote:757cb3c9c2="OmKranti"]But...but...Rinso smells funny. [/quote:757cb3c9c2] Thats the smell of Love, Om! And right now I'm wofting a load of it in your direction. (Any similarties between the smell of Love and the smell of Urine, is purely chance)[/quote:757cb3c9c2] I love the smell of love in the morning.
[quote:891dd7fc9e="Delphine"]Aw, Om. You have no reason to feel stupid, like Garner said. He lied to you, and now he's lost you. He should be the one feeling bloody stupid. >hugs<[/quote:891dd7fc9e] He *is* bloody stupid, and an ego-driven bastard to boot. He doesn't deserve to even exist in your thoughts in any shape or form, Om.
[quote:b023677ba3="OmKranti"]So, it's over. [/quote:b023677ba3] And well over - he was definiteley a master bastard - I'd even go so far as to class him by using the old English word "dastard" for a real villain - one can be born a bastard, but to be a dastard one has to work at it! [quote:b023677ba3="OmKranti"]He was married. I feel like an idiot..[/quote:b023677ba3] So he was lying - men who are looking for a bit on the side will do so. You can't carry a lie detector or a syringe full of scopalamine around with you - don't feel like an idiot - we can all be fooled - us men as well - I was once in what I thought was a continuing relationship with a woman who during that time was actually planning her wedding to another guy! [quote:b023677ba3="OmKranti"]Fucking men.[/quote:b023677ba3] That's the best idea - even if it's not quite the way you meant it! Go for it - have fun - forget the bastard/dastard!
Pixel, I'm receiving complaints about you creeping out the locals again. What have we said about you mentioning the reproductive acts? Don't make me get the cattle prod out again...
[quote:07557d4f91="Garner"]Pixel, I'm receiving complaints about you creeping out the locals again. What have we said about you mentioning the reproductive acts? Don't make me get the cattle prod out again...[/quote:07557d4f91] Is this the right place to ask why you're always picking on Pixel? I can't help noticing it but I've never really understood the reason. Edit: Me, considering myself fairly sexually liberal, don't mind Pixel talking about sex at all.
You know, Cap'n, seems like you've had an awful lot to complain about lately... are we not satisfying your expectations of a message board or something? Re: Pixel being picked on, there is certainly a level of friendly jibing, as pixel has a self-martyring complex and he and my friend Doors often wound up on opposite sides of an arguement. Pixel knows, I hope, that I like him and value his contributions to the community, even while I disagree strongly with a lot of his views and political beliefs. However, as I've had repeated occasions to mention, I receive, from time to time, complaints about pixel discussing parts of his anatomy. I consider myself pretty liberal, but I don't wanna hear about another guy's schlong. I don't care if its pixel, rinso, doors, or john holmes back from the dead. The only schlong I care about is my own. I think the necessity of addressing those complaints has fostered pixel's martyr complex to some degree - he's often mentioned sexual topics despite knowing that that's a risky ground for him with some posters. I think the last time i had cause to mention it, it was mostly a joke for each of us, but I can't really recall. But, this time, there were complaints. As I said, I like pixel and I value his contributions to the boards, but when other posters claim they feel "creeped out", it's my job to resolve that situation as immediately and effectively as possible. The short term solution is to get pixel to not mention sexual intercourse (as that seems to have been the cause for the creepiness), and once that's dealt with I can, if the offended party wants, talk to the offended party and see if there's any more meaningful cause to being creeped out that can be addressed. Let me state clearly: Pixel is not a bad guy, and a welcome poster here. None of us hate him. But he's not allowed to talk about his wang or things that people do with wangs.
Also, Scandinavians are not qualified to judge whether sexual content is appropriate or not for a public messageboard.
yeah, i think we all remember what happened that time Mynona let her hair down... poor little Eu was never the same after that...
[quote:43e01c1374="Garner"]You know, Cap'n, seems like you've had an awful lot to complain about lately... are we not satisfying your expectations of a message board or something?[/quote:43e01c1374] I'm sorry if this is how I'm coming through to you. I didn't intend this to be a complaint, and I can't remember any other recent posts by me where I was complaining, but if you'd point me in the right direction I'm sure I can learn from my mistakes and express myself a little bit more clearly in the future. To answer your question, I would say if I didn't enjoy my stay I wouldn't come back. Thank you for explaining why Pixel's not allowed to talk about sex.
*Gives virtual hugs to Om* **Gives virtual kick in the scrotum to two-faced lying pathetic shit of a man** Om you have no reason to feel stupid, you aren't the only one to be duped this way by a guy, I have, although he wasn't married. For this just makes him even more lame and you have every right to be angry and hurt but the blame is his to suck up and swallow. With any luck he'll choke on it. I'm not above saying that revenge would be sweet...although I do add it is pointless and self-destructive. As to Pixel's tendency for too much information, his post above was pretty mild and relevant to the topic for the most part. Not saying in the past some of the things he's revealed haven't been uncomfortable to read but in this case it may have been too quick on the rebuke trigger... but its all relative and Pixel knows we like him and that we like him enough to tell him when he's gone too far without thinking he's being ganged up on.
